Paul

Sometimes you write "blog" on your to-do list for four days.  Sometimes you get woken up from sleep because you were thirsty before bed.  Sometimes your sweet sensitive oldest child has a bad dream and needs your comfort.  Sometimes you can't get back to sleep, so you get up and blog.

I returned back to Bible Study yesterday morning and frankly, I was reluctant to go.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE studying The Word.  I love studying it with other women.  I love the study I'm doing on I Thessalonians.  It is rich and challenging and encouraging and wonderful and fulfilling.  I didn't want to return this morning because over the holiday break, I took up another study and I'm enjoying it so very much.  Now I'm going to hit "pause" for a few months and return to it later this spring.

If I'm not in a focused study. . .if I don't have a specific direction to go in  morning devotional time, then I'm a little lost.  I find that I set the alarm a little later, I don't look forward to it as much, and skipping all together gets to be more frequent.  I then feel off and that feeling trickles down upon those around me.  So as we wrapped up in early December, I knew that I needed a plan.

Paul.

Paul was my plan.  I have struggled with liking Paul for most of my adult life.  He seemed so perfect and not sinning and focused on saving the lost and not nice sometimes.  While at a Beth Moore conference this fall, I picked up her study on Paul.  I knew that I needed to really examine him and also knew that she was the one who could get me excited about him.  God has opened my eyes about Paul over the past five weeks!  I look forward to learning more each morning.  I am gaining so many new truths and new facts.  Mostly, I'm seeing why God chose to use Paul and how he was so faithful. I see weaknesses in Paul.  I see a human Paul that I haven't see before as well as a mighty and sovereign God who always knew what He was doing.  My greatest discovery was my mission.  God clearly gave me a mission for 2015. . . and possibly for life.  It has excited and challenged me daily.

I've laughed several times about how God knew all along that I needed to humble myself and learn from a Biblical man whom I've always admired, but not always liked.  His writings were great, but I didn't like him.  I've changed my tune.  I often pray in the morning for the Lord to come quickly.  There is so much hurting and evil in the world and I long for a better place.  I long to have a perfect relationship with The Father.  I long for the evil one to be done for good.  Now I have another reason for asking Christ to return, I'm excited to attend one of Paul's classes in heaven and possibly even enjoy a Diet Mountain Dew together.