Losing it

I had a great blog all written in my head this morning. I thought. . . I'm a little busy. I'll wait until this afternoon so that I can sit and concentrate. God bless rest time.

I don't remember what it was about. Perhaps it will pop in my head after I empty some things out. Right now my head is filled with my blow up. Yup. I lost it in the car on the way home from a friend's house. Add together this equation:

Friends over last night for a BBQ and going to bed 1 1/2 hours later than usual

+

Getting up at the usual time

+

Eating lunch later than usual

+

Eating at Wendy's with mom and her four ducks

+

Being shown crumbling palm branches from Palm Sunday in the back of the car

+

seeing a pinata torn apart in the back of the car

+

seeing tons of "treasures" in the back of the car

+

seeing clothing in the back of the car

+

seeing trash in the back of the car

+

hot

=

mom losing it in the car. Stupid pinata.

My boys. . . no matter how hard I try to remember. . . feel the need to destroy things. I'm not sure why this is, but they do. They pull things apart all the time. Curiosity? Boredom? Being silly? Sometimes I'm o.k. with it, sometimes I celebrate it, sometimes. . . . grrrrr

"That's it! When we get home you are cleaning up the back of this car!" We arrive home, I give them a garbage bag. They've returned to the house four times now. Once to dump out the garbage (the bag was 1/4 full). The second time was to go to the bathroom and get a drink. The third time someone had to poop. The last time I saw them they needed to cool off their heads. They've been working for fifty minutes. Hmmmm I'm glad I have the keys inside the house. Who knows what else they are destroying in there. Welcome to summer.

Long time. . .

Hi all
Been awhile since I've blogged. Things have been. . . ahem. . . a little crazy here. Can I get an "Amen!". Thank you. I've often thought about blog posts while laying in bed, or while driving in the car and then I just don't make it. Here is what we've been up to.
The kids are done with school. That is a lie. The boys are done with school and Noel has her end of the year party tomorrow. That means our lives have been filled with field trips to Captain Sundae, end of the year parties, and pre-school graduation. It also means that there are more than the usual papers in my house. I know kids learn with papers, but sheesh! I went around with a garbage bag just to recycle papers. I'm extremely grateful for our school and for my kids' teachers. I'm also ready to be done. Penny is ready for us to be done--I keep waking her up to go and drop off children.
I got together with friends--two nights in a row. I don't get together with just an adult or two very often. The stars aligned and it happened the past two nights. It was wonderful to get re-charged, to swap stories, to cry a little, to be inspired, to celebrate our families, to support and promise to pray. Frankly, after two nights in a row of midnight bedtimes I'm whooped. My tank is full, but my body is a little behind. Tonight I'll make it early.
Monday night (after graduation) a friend was speaking at a conference. I missed hearing her (boo), but still showed up for support. I also was challenged a ton, not by what the other speaker there were two) said, but by the audience and by her delievery. I'd love to be a public speaker some day. I was surprised at how I was so skeptical of this woman when she did speak some truth-- she loves God, she encouraged many people in attendance. . . it has caused me lots of mental energy to figure it all out. I still haven't, but I'm working on it. Should I have been more open? Should I have clapped more? Given an Amen? Hmmm
Shutterfly offered a 50% off coupon on 12x12 books. This is the size I use for our family books. So, I finished 2008 Part 2. I know--I'm aware that I am behind. The coupon expired last night so I spent lots of afternoons, some mornings, and several evenings at the computer organizing and chronicling our life in 2008. I cried a little as I relived our trip to China to get our precious son. I got it done and my kids watched three hours of videos yesterday afternoon. The book is 91 pages.
I arrived a half our early (got the days mixed up) to school this morning. Though I did get a good parking space (hallelujah!), I also got to entertain my children (did I mention I have four?) in the hall. Went well and the principal told me it was o.k. if we were a bit loud. He said that's what doors are for. Thanks. I shuffled my way between two classrooms for two parties. I'm thankful that other parents were willing to watch one or more of my kids while I was with one or more of my other kids. whew. Thankfully we got to participate in two pinatas and came home with lots of candy! It has been a very relaxing and laid back afternoon. (sarcasm)
So, I'm here. Summer is coming. Garrison is still searching for treasures--he ran into a mailbox while riding his bike because he was looking down. Simon is still frustrated that I'm making him eat breakfast every day. There are so many things to be done and breakfast doesn't fit on his list. Noel has a braid in her hair. It has been there for three days. I promise that tonight it will come out and she will bathe. Penny is running and I'm running after her. Gary was injured in a work accident and his knee is puffy and filled with fluid. I'm loving the Fig Newtons crisps and must work hard to not open the bag. Yummy! That is our life. Tonight--I'm going tuck my kids in their beds for the first time in three nights, and then I'm going to tuck myself in. Lovely.

Sappy

This morning I had a little moment when I went out to the trash to throw away the latest dirty diaper (which have grown ever more stinky since Penny is enjoying meat these days!). Inside the trash can was my hurricane flag. While living in Miami, my best friend Karen and I purchased hurricane flags: one for each of us. We lived through Hurricane Georges as well as other numerous hurricane warnings not to mention we cheered for the Miami Hurricanes while living there. We kept our flags while living together again in Chicago and would display them during appropriate events.

The flag has been sitting in the garage on a shelf since we moved here. It came out during an organizing spree (thanks Gary!) and the kids played with it and promptly broke it (another post grrr) prompting Gary to throw it away.

The garbage is probably the best place for the broken flag. I haven't displayed it since we moved here. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I used it at all. I'm not even sure that Karen still has her flag. I haven't thought about it for years, yet when I came back into the house after seeing the flag in the trash, I was sad, a bit put out, a little crabby, and teary. How silly! It is a flag.

I've been trying to figure out what caused that reaction. It doesn't seem to be about a flag in the garbage. Perhaps it is a reminder of a piece of me that no one here even knows about. There is only one person who I can share with about my time in Miami. Maybe I grieve a little bit that the Shanda from Miami isn't really around anymore. I think I see the flag as a trigger to memories--memories that I don't want to lose. The flag leads me to think and celebrate the amazing years that I had in Miami. Maybe I won't remember without the flag?!? I don't know. Like the title suggests--I'm sappy. Can anyone else relate?

Gary pulled the flag out before he left for work. I'm still divided about whether to throw it away or not. Head vs. Heart

Saturday Night

We've been busy here at the Sprick house this past week. I've really enjoyed tip-toeing through the tulips all week long. We are paying the price with tired kids and tired mama though. :) Not only that, but my baby turned one yesterday. I really enjoyed thinking about the day of her birth all over again and celebrating how much I really love having her in our family. My family came over yesterday after church for a little shin-dig. Penny loved her cake as well as her cupcake for breakfast.

Saturday night Gary and I attended a baby shower for some friends. It was a great night with lots of noisy conversations. This group hasn't seen each other for a couple of months, so we really needed to catch up. We also really needed a babysitter and I had secured my mom several weeks ago. About two weeks ago Gary and I had a conversation about whether we could ask dad. We decided it was time and I called him up and asked if he could come and babysit with mom. He agreed. I was very proud to answer when asked "Who is watching your kids tonight?" with "my folks". They had a wonderful time with their Grammy and Gramps. Dad loves to tell stories and my kids love to hear stories. He also brought along an apple to share with them. It is another step along our journey. Dad left shortly after the kids were in bed. It was difficult for him to be in our house and see the cake on the counter knowing that our family would be together without him the next day. Yup, I know that it is hard dad. I know that it hurts. It will also be hard for me someday to invite him to a party as the hurt feelings regarding past birthdays still linger like the smell of bacon in my kitchen for days. We are getting there.

Sunday our pastor preached about forgiveness. It was really good. I have forgiven my dad and that means that I need to continue to give him opportunities to engage with our family. Forgiveness is GIVEN and he doesn't have to ask again. Pastor George also stressed that trust is earned, not given. Our trust in dad has been so battered and bruised. We are beginning. . . step by step to trust him again. He is learning. . . step by step to earn our trust again. Yup, there are set-backs at times, but we are slowly making our way toward a connection again.

Crying twice--written on Mother's Day and published twice. We'll see if this time works. :)

I've cried twice today. (This is Shanda by the way, not Gary.) :)

Gary asked what I wanted for Mother's Day. I'm not a huge gift kinda girl, so I asked for time. I asked that he and the kids make breakfast for me. When he asked what I wanted, I said to surprise me.

He dutifully got out of bed early and went to manage the kids. Everyone was up and I could hear (I was awake of course) the noise of folks working in the kitchen. Around 7:20, I heard lots of shouting and other merriment as the whole troop came into the bedroom to "wake me up". They wished me Happy Mother's Day and gave me a beautiful card that they had colored themselves. It was awesome. Then, I got up and went to the table. I cried because I was so touched by what they had done. Every kid (save Penny--although I'm sure she clapped for them) had helped. Oranges, carrots, and an egg and cheese sandwich complete with a flower that was picked from outside. It was absolutely perfect! It was overwhelming that this group had given to me something that I have given to them so often.

Then, at church this morning, Pastor George read a book to the kids. In it, Chester the raccoon is afraid to go to school so his mama gives him a kiss on his hand that can not be washed away. Pastor George then asked all the kids to give their parents a kiss on the hand so that they could always be together, just like Chester does for his mother at the end of the book. Following the book, the kids were excused to Children's Worship. Noel decided to stop by her mom rather than go with all the kids. As I tried to tell her to go, she grabbed my left hand, opened it up, and kissed it. I was so touched. She then skipped off to Children's Worship stopping half way up the aisle, calling my name, and blowing me another kiss when I turned around. So very sweet.

I'm thankful every day that I get to be a mom. I'm thankful that God chose to give us four kids that I really like. I'm thankful for a mom across the world who chose life for her son and abandoned him rather than kill him. I'm thankful for my mom and how she continues to teach me about motherhood, being a wife, and walking with the Saviour. I'm thankful for those who are mom figures in the lives of my kids. I'm thankful for a mother-in-law who offers me so much encouragement every time I talk with her.

May we appreciate family every day and not just on holidays. :)

Ah, my son

My firstborn son. Oh, how I love him! He had a fever last night and I laid in his bed with him stroking his head while he tried to get comfortable. I yawned and he told me he thought I should go back to bed to get some rest. Yes he did. His smile is infectious. His eyes disappear when he laughs just like his dad's eyes. He spends more time looking down than up because, "there are more treasures on the ground". Someday I'll gladly give him up to one lucky gal, but for now he is mine.
Today we got the bikes down. Gary checked them over and pumped up the tires. Last year, we tried to teach Garrison how to ride a bike, yet he couldn't. . . no he wouldn't! See, my firstborn son is a little bit like me. Sometimes I have a hard time trying something new if I think I might fail, or be embarassed, or be laughed at, or get hurt, or look foolish, or . . . . He refused to try because it wouldn't work. Perhaps he suggested, he could do it when he was seven.
So, there we go off on a (me)walk/bike ride (him). His training wheels aren't even, so the bike leans a bit. All of a sudden---whooping. Seriously whooping! He is shouting with glee and joy and his eyes are huge and he begins to wave and fist pump. I smile because I know. He felt it. He felt the balance. The rest of the walk he kept on trying to balance on the bike without the training wheels. He did it over and over again. Each time he'd stop and tell me what had just happened. I had to be rather creative to come up with new happy expressions of praise.
We arrived back home, told daddy about the balancing thing in a rather loud voice, and insisted that the training wheels come off. I grabbed the camera and we headed back to the road. He got on, I steadied him, and he took off. That was it. He shouted to Joel (our neighbor) that this was his first time on two wheels. Joel looked at me with doubt. It is true! Joel insisted in jest that I hadn't done things correctly--running behind, hurting my back, picking up a crying child. :)
This is a first for this mama. A child of mine has never ridden a two wheeler. I. . . I mean HE loved it. :)

Sick

This is the Sprick house and don't come in. We are sick.

Last night Penny went to Urgent Care. Oh how I detest making the Urgent Care decision! "Can we wait for the doctor tomorrow? What if it is nothing and then we paid a ton? I just want to put her in bed so I'm done being a parent for awhile!" And on and on. We went and almost left because I was sick of waiting. Plus, Miss Penelope is walking around the waiting room greeting everyone and proving that she is indeed not sick. Double ear infection and strep throat. Um, she is indeed not feeling well.

"Good Morning Simon!" I said this morning along with a big hug. Hmmm, you feel warm. Yup, 102. Sorry buddy, you can't go to school today. Garrison responds with "Simon, you are going to miss the Mother's Day celebration, but it's o.k., God will heal you." Simon seemed consoled that he was going to miss the party that I was going to attend with him. I'm so glad that God indeed heals.

After I returned home from attending said Mother's Day Extravaganza (which was fabulous!) with Garrison, I greeted Noel with a hug. Hmmmm, you feel warm. Yup, 101.6. Sorry honey, you won't be able to go to school tomorrow. You are sick. Suddenly she began to cry, not because of missing school, but because it is the right thing to do in order to obtain more sympathy. Sad for her, I'm on to this little game.

Now both of their throats hurt. What do you think it is? The doctor (whom I adore) is getting us in tomorrow for lots of swabbing. :)

Now I've received lots of sympathy from friends and from family regarding this sick situation. Yes, it is challenging at times. Yes, I need to have more patience when whiny Noel shows up. Yes, I have a chart going of who got what medication at what time. Truth is, we are blessed. We haven't been through a bad illness all winter. My kids are sick. It is what I signed up for when we decided to have children. The only bad thing will be if I get sick. PRAY THAT I DON'T GET SICK! :) Oh, and Gary just called. He won't be home until much later. He got called out to work. You know what? I wouldn't trade my life for anything!

Consequences

I'm a big fan of consequences. . . both for myself and for my kids. I eat too much and there are lots of consequences on my biscuits. Stay up too late. . . sick. Wake up early to spend time in God's Word. . .a much better attitude and day. Love consequences.

When is it o.k. with my kids and clothes? Battles this morning regarding shorts and sleeveless shirts. Battles about putting on a sweatshirt to play outside (upper 40's here!). I insisted and then relented. Enjoy the consequences I thought. What I said was "Don't complain to me when you are cold." She was cold. Is 3 1/2 too early? 5?

Another consequence is that if my blog entries are too long, my dear husband just skims them. Is this one o.k. honey?