Adventures in grocery shopping

I ventured out to a new grocery store this morning. My "usual" store is familiar. I know many of the checkers by name. Kathy on occasion has opened a lane for me knowing how challenging it is to grocery shop with four children. Thanks! I make out my list according to the layout of the store. I know exactly where I need to go and where my items are. I know what mornings are crazy. I enjoy it. . . grocery shopping. I love finding the deals and thinking about how to take care of my family.

This morning I felt a little lost. Some things are the same, but I struggled with knowing where everything was. I did leave without Febreeze. It was on sale and I had a coupon--I couldn't find it. Shucks. I ran into so many people that I knew. .. another new experience for me. Hi to all! I even attracted interest from strangers. When you have one daughter who dances in the aisles and another who smiles if you but look at her. . . there was one dear older Hispanic woman who cooed to Penny in Spanish. Penny was fascinated and gave her some love. Others kept peeking into the carseat to "see the baby". Guess what Penny did? Yup. . . smile smile smile. Noel showed several patrons the fish. I find myself shaking my head a lot while we grocery shop.

So, why did I make the switch? Why would I leave the store I know to go to another that frustrates me? My dad. My dad is back in town. After his long stint somewhere in Canada he has decided to return to Holland and is living in a hotel on the north side of Holland. Though it would be fine if I ran into him, I do need to protect my kids. They adore their Gramps and we still speak very lovingly about him. I don't want them to see him yet, especially at a grocery store.

Dad is still very sick. After being asked to leave the transitional house for not adhering to the guidelines, after admitting at the end of rehab that he shouldn't come back to Holland for fear that he would fall back into his previous lifestyle, after a very long vacation with no accountability. . .he is back. For the first time he asked my mom about my kids. For the first time he admitted that he had made some mistakes. Yeah! That is a great start dad. The problem is that he wants to move back in with mom and is using every trick in the book to do that. He manipulates. He whines. He gets upset. He turns friends and family against us. Yet, we are committed to staying healthy. We are committed to helping dad whether he sees that or not. Moving back in would be one of the worst things that we could do at this point. EVERY addiction counselor (including ours. . . and dad's when he was in rehab!) would say that. Why do I tell you this? First, please be in prayer again for our family. We need it. Second, if you see my dad--welcome him back and tell him that you are praying for him (if indeed you are). If you see my mom--tell her that you love her and are praying for her. What a hard road she is walking. If you are uncomfortable talking with any of us, yet want to tell us of your support or your prayers then send a note. My mom and dad hope to begin counseling together in the next couple of weeks.

We want dad to be better. Being better doesn't mean the same thing as being comfortable. Being better might not be the easiest. Being better won't happen without time and hard work, for all of us.

Dishes

There is a plate and a bowl sitting on the high chair in the dining room. They have been there for two weeks. Why? 1. I don't need the high chair for a child at the moment. 2. I can't decide if I want to buy more to make a set or to return these two.

Here is the issue: I like my white dishes. We received most of them for our wedding (thanks again!). The problem is that my cupboard is filled with my lovely white dishes and a multitude of plastic dishes . I'm thankful that my kids can't break them and they clean up great. I'm just sick of the different sizes, sick of them falling out of the cupboards, sick of the colors (that's a lie---I love lots of color!), and sick of living in a pre-school. (I know I know. . . I do live in a pre-school. shhh I just don't want to always be reminded of it!) :)

So we are thinking about getting Corelle dishes. They are virtually unbreakable (yes. . . you can break them. I know. BUT, a general crash to the floor won't hurt them!), they can go into the microwave (unlike melamine which I totally wanted!!!), they can go into the oven, they can go into the dishwasher, they are light, and they don't take up a ton of space. The thought is that we'd put away the dishes that we love for awhile during this phase of our lives so to speak, and then bring them out again and enjoy them when our kids are older and less likely to break them.

My problem--there isn't a pattern I like. Too flowery. Too church-like. Too plain. Too muted. Too ugly. Too blah. Gary doesn't like it. Shanda doesn't like it. Blah blah blah. Every week I get a phone call during the day from Gary asking if I've decided yet. He'd like to either get them, or return them.

Ideas?

Number 8

My brother and sister told us this summer that they are going to have a baby in March. Congrats Kevin and Gretchen! We are praying so much for baby number 8! We affectionately call him "Mitch". I love being an aunt and we WILL be winning the contest! :)

Garrison's Book

Garrison came to me yesterday and asked that I write down what he said in "his book". Thought I'd share.

God you are so powerful. You can take care of me and heal me. You take care of me every day. God you love me so much. I'll come to you every day. I love you and you're gonna take care of the whole world for me. And God, you are so powerful and you can heal me and take care of me and I love you. And God can take care of all the things that I know. That's the end. Garrison.

I just washed moss.

Yes I did.

Garrison is a treasure hunter. I try to encourage this. . . to a certain extent. He needs to keep his treasures (for the most part) outside. That mouse skull? Outside. 22 pinecones? outside. His chick-a-dee rock? outside. [For the record, I have no idea what a chick-a-dee rock is!] He wants to go on walks with me so that he can collect treasures (special sticks, mini-marbles, hair ties, plastic bags, etc.) He wants to to shopping so he can spend his time looking down, and sometimes crawling around if I'm not paying attention, searching for treasures. A recent trip to Carter's netted some awesome finds: lots of clothes tags, plastic wrap, and those size plastic things they put on hangers so you don't have to look on the tag for the size.

When he isn't looking I usually throw these treasures away. Sometimes he doesn't have any idea. Sometimes he goes through the trash to look. Sometimes he remembers. (Like when I pitched the flip-flop he had found at a park. Who needs one flip flop? In the wrong size? With a princess on it? Well. . . apparently Garrison.)

It is hard to explain the difference to him of what he can keep as a treasure and what he has to leave as a treasure. Keep: an old McDonald's happy meal toy. Leave: a used kleenex. Keep: a stick with three branches. Leave: the package of balloons at Meijer. (just because it was on the floor doesn't mean we can keep it!) You should have heard that one.

All in all, I think it is fun. I laugh at all that he finds. He gets others excited about hunting with him and it keep him entertained for hours. That boy keeps giving me lots to love. I think that he is a treasure. I'm going to keep him and even let him inside of the house. :)

O.K. Mamas

Hey all mamas---

Have you ever had it where something happens or you have a conversation that sits on your mind all day? Sometimes it is good, sometimes. . . ack!

I had four things/comments/situations that happened to me this morning. Nothing serious. Nothing huge. Nothing crazy bad. Just conversations/events that sent my mind swirling. . . one of them was another school mama looking at me when I was snapping at my kids for walking in front of traffic. I spent so much time thinking on that one. . . should I have snapped? Traffic is a big deal! Could I have behaved differently? Ugh. Was it fear or frustration that caused me to get upset? Fear of having my kids getting hit by a car. . . frustration at the lack of parking at school and crossing the street and two busy entrances with four kids. . . .probably a combo. I can't take it back though. I can't explain it all to this mom. . . a mom in Garrison's class. What does she think of me now? Is it important? I'm contemplating arriving at school 10 minutes late every day just so that I can park in the parking lot. . . what message does that send to my kids though? That doesn't seem to be a good use of our money. In one of my less sane moments, I even thought about pulling my kids out of school. I know I know. . . irrational. Do any of you have these moments?

Do you see where I am? Follow that up with three casual conversations with other school moms regarding my boys that have my head running in circles.

I just want to be the best mom that I can. I want to have kids that love God, respect others, share stuff, lift up the broken, enjoy school, be good friends, make good friends, go to bed on time, have good hygiene, smile often, listen lots, do what they are told, and cure cancer. I want to make decisions that don't hurt them in the long run. I don't want them to remember that I put my hand in their face when they kept bringing up the same issue over and over again (yup. . . I did that today!). I want them to remember that we walked down the road in the rain and rode the scooter through the big puddle (again today). I want them to remember that I read books to them every night and they took turns sitting on my lap. I want them to remember that every day I pulled them to me for a hug and a kiss. I love them so very much and don't want to "do it wrong".

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I'll wake up and pledge patience again. Tomorrow I'll give extra hugs and kisses to everyone. Tomorrow will be today and Simon will be confused again because he never seems to reach tomorrow. :)

First day of school

Here they are: the ever popular first day of school pictures!

Simon hams is up. He is wearing his special moster trucks shirt. We've been waiting many months for this moment!

"Yeah, I'm five."

Both boys are in pre-school at "El Puente" at Zeeland Christian.

I got a little teary. My little girl is going to school!
She proudly told everyone that she was "three".


Time to go home! (She didn't seem to appreciate that I was trying to get a picture in the midst of this tantrum. . . and that I was laughing as well.)

This was the beginning of Noel's meltdown. Many children cry when they have to stay at school without their parents. Oh no. . . not Noel! She cried when Maestra (her teacher) announced that it was time to go home. She had a throw-down, scream out loud, fall on the floor, many many tears fit! She would not be consoled. Sounds like the hospital visit eh?!? I ended up carrying her through the thousands (o.k., maybe fifty) of parents waiting to pick up their well-behaved-excited-to-go-home children while she screamed. What is it with little girl screams? I'm not a fan. I was laughing and embarassed at the same time. Just wait until she becomes a teen-ager. I'll get her back then. :)

If I didn't know her I'd say she didn't like being at home, but I know better. The truth is she loves the attention that school (and the hospital) can give her. Yup, she's ready to go to school. We'll see what happens this Friday!

Penny's Baptism

Sunday night we had the honor of baptizing our daughter Penny. It was such a great night. We were so blessed to not only have my family there but Gary's parents as well who flew up from Brason for the week-end. How wonderful to see God's love, promises and stories of grace were passed down through three generations. We pray that Penny decides to live with Christ as well.

Gary's Mom reads Penny's passage: Psalm 16. Penny is named after her.

Getting wet!

The Koemans


Gary's family

Of course, dad was missing. We felt the hole but also know that were he well, he would have celebrated with us. Perhaps he'll someday read the "big Bible story book" to Penny at his house just like he did with me.

Same song. . .

So it goes: "Same song, second verse, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse."

We went back to Zeeland Hospital last night. Some of the same people were working and remembered me and my "adorable daughter." One even stopped me to tell another nurse "this is the mom of the little girl I was telling you about".

This time I was there with Gary. This time wasn't as easy. This time was much more painful. . . and too late for this tired chica.

Gary had been experiencing abdominal pain for about 24 hours and finally last night he told me that something was seriously wrong and we needed to go in. We put the kids to bed, walked over to the neighbors house, and asked if they would like to sit in our house while we went. After going to Urgent Care and then later to the Emergency Room, after a calling my mom to come and relieve neighbor Bev and a return trip to the house to pick up some "stuff", after having people poke his belly numerous times, after drinking a delicious concoction and having a cat scan, he was finally diagnosed with diverticulitis. Painful. Flare-ups. Bowel. Two antibiotics for ten days. Thankfully: it was not abscessed. No surgery.

Tired this morning, but thankful. Gary is going to be o.k. Gary's folks are in town and we had a great day with them yesterday with more fun today. Penny is getting baptized tomorrow night. God is good.

Urgent Care

I went to urgent care last night with my daughter Noel. We've never been here in Zeeland, so it was nice to finally get it over with. And by the way, Noel is fine. Great new huh!?!

Here is the story with the entertaining (well to me anyway) ending.

*I went to the pre-school meeting at school and enjoyed two presentations. I signed up to bring, kleenex, granola bars, gold glitter, white glitter, and of course play-doh.

*Gary manned the ship at home.

*Noel didn't want to turn her head from the video and while walking backwards. . . she fell down the stairs.

*Gary called me to come home right away.

*I didn't have my phone. I left it in the car. I didn't want to be one of those moms whose phone goes off during the meeting.

*Gary left a message.

*Meanwhile: I made plans to go for some chit-chat and dessert with other pre-school moms. I got in the car and got ready to call Gary and ask if it would be o.k. if I go. . . ah . . . the message!

*There I go, speeding through Zeeland. shhh

*Everyone is in bed except for Noel. She doesn't have a concussion (I checked to see if her pupils dilated,), her nose doesn't appear to be broken (I poked at it and asked her if it hurt), yet it is swollen.

*Gary informs me that it bled.

*My gut tells me that she is o.k.

*We make calls to respected people and are encouraged to go. Better to be safe than sorry. I agree.

Location: Zeeland Hospital

*Noel is thrilled to be there. Pleased as punch as a matter of fact. She informs the registrar that she "fell down 15 steps and hurt her nose."

*We are asked to wait in the waiting area and as we turn, nurse Jodi is there. Noel is upset as she wanted to sit in the "living room".

*Noel loves getting her vitals taken, making sure first of course that there would be no shots involved.

*The doctor is on his way and we read a book that I so smartly brought along when a woman shows up with stickers and colors and a coloring page. I am trumped.

*Before she can get all the stickers off their backs, the doctor is here. He asks if he can look up Noel's nose. She informs him that is "o.k. and it will just tickle a little bit".

*She is fine and we'll be right in to finish the paperwork.

Here is the twist ending. . . .

Noel states that she does not want to go home. She does so several times and with ever increasing volume. It takes me several minutes to calm her down. . . o.k. I didn't calm her down but at least she wasn't screaming. Why would you want to go home? At the hospital she is the center of attention, she gets free stuff, and she doesn't have to go to bed. Not only that, but it is two hours after her bedtime. SWEET!

We leave the room and she begins yelling in earnest again. It takes everything in me to keep from laughing. . . you are right. . . I did laugh. Her voice echos off every clean floor. People are poking their heads out, the insurance lady (our last stop) is laughing as we walk in. We finally leave with the promise to Noel that she can have a snack when we get home. As we leave, the registration lady looks at me and says, "I heard the story. She doesn't want to go home." Lovely. . . word is circulating. Noel gives one last "I don't want to go home" before we go through the automatic doors, just for good measure. I hear the cleaning attendant laugh. At least they didn't bring me up on charges of child endangerment.

Hope

I have hope for a lot of things. I hope that my boys won't wrestle in children's worship. I hope that Penny sleeps through the night without crying. I hope that Gary's sinus cavities from his surgery today heal quickly. I hope that I can find babysitting for all the volunteering I'll be doing in preschool this year. I hope that my kids make great friends. Lots of hope.

There is another kind of hope, the kind had joy attached to it. We hear good news regarding a sick friend and suddenly, we have hope. We get all the paperwork in to adopt and then hear that matches are coming soon, we have hope. We visit our dad in Petoskey at the end of three months in rehab and we have hope. I remember blogging about that visit. I saw a sparkle, and I heard his laugh. He was proud of the changes that he had made and spoke very openly about the journey ahead.

Then again, sometimes we lose hope. I've lost some hope. Dad was asked to leave the transitional house where he was living and receiving more help. He didn't abide by the rules. Currently, he is in Canada with a friend he met there last year named George. My hope? Well, in this situation it is pretty low.

Of course, my mind goes in all sorts of directions. I'm sad, frustrated, angry, worried, and . . . feeling somewhat hopeless. Yet. . . . (this is a good word here!) my hope is not in my dad, his behavior, his location, his decisions, and his choices.

Isaiah 40: 31 "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. . . . "

My hope is not in the things of this world, but in my Father above! God knows dad. God knows where he is. God knows what he is doing. God knows my mom. God knows every in and out of this whole situation and He can renew my strength, my mom's strength, and even dad's strength. There is no choice that dad can make that surprises God. There is nothing dad can do that will take him out of God's reach.

Do I wish I had better news. Yes, perhaps some day I will. Right now, all we can do is pray. Will you join our prayer army? Let's hope in the Lord!!!

The newest fight

You might recall that once upon a time, my boys were fighting over a baby chick. This chick was pretend, so fighting about who had it was a mystery to me. I'd direct you to the blog post but alas, I don't know how.

The latest battle among my boys involves boxes. Big boxes. Garrison has an amazon box and Simon has a Luvs diaper box. We've drawn steering wheels, fuel gauges, wheels, even water and pop cans on these boxes. Garrison has even written "muscle car" on the side of his. Their argument? They each insist that their car goes faster than the other one. After several moments of amusement on my part over this argument, it quickly started to annoy me. I tried to explain but received blank stares. Finally I asked how fast each car really went. Zero. They both go zero. It was solved. That was yesterday.

Today the argument began again. Seriously? This time in an effort to prove their point, they began writing numbers on the sides of their cars to indicate how fast it goes. It helps when you shout it out. "Yeah, well mine goes fifteen, eighty, one thousand, three, sixty-two, and, and, and. . ." My response? "It is time for your morning video."

Cottage Pictures (beware--many ahead!)

Here they are! Just a few (cough cough) of the 937 pictures taken at the cottage. (I love the digital world.) I realized as I went through these that we had an amazing week, that I did get many moments yet forgot others, and that Simon climbs on many laps. :) Enjoy!

The van is packed.

Gary's new "old man" chair.
Bubbles were a hit!


A jet-ski just for the kids.

Uncle Koe entertains the Sprick kids.

Fishing with the uncles.

Noel doesn't want anything to do with Uncle Matt's fish.

Kody is so sassy already.

Ready to roll.

Simon tries to get warm. The kid has no body fat.

Yup, she's enjoying her first week at the cottage.

Look: Garrison got his nails done.

Look: Noel got her nails done.

Look: Gary got his nails done too!

The Koemans are chilaxin'

I can't believe my boys can do this!

A typical supper. Mom spoiled us!

The annual kick ball game.

We had cheerleaders this year.

An early morning boat ride.

Aunt Tricia and Simon

Tricia and Ryan celebrating.

Our little cocoon.

I got up with Ryan too!

My studly brothers.

Kevin, Tricia, and Ryan going trips!

Noel tries to charm her way into that Chex Mix bag. She did.

Big breakfast

I can still slalom! Oh yeah!!!

Tricia and I having a blast!

I could not stop laughing!

Aunt Gigi has a special heart for Simon.

Fishing with my boys.

Simon riding on Uncle Ryan.

The more the merrier.

Simon loves his Grammy

I love this family!