Coming home

My guy is on the road and I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for a job, for training in Ft. Wayne, that he is driving a truck in some pretty yucky road conditions and that he is coming home after four days away!

I don't mind being a single parent.  I enjoyed working on Penny's scrapbook at night when normally this would be my time spent with Gary.  I do know that I'm better when I'm working with Gary.  I have someone to balance me out, to help carry the load of decision making, to make me laugh, to assist with discipline, to listen, and to kiss.

Parenting alone has gotten easier now that our kids are getting older.  I was still up five times with Penny one night (Argh!), but everyone can dress and feed themselves.  They can also entertain themselves for extended periods of time--this is one of the greatest gifts I have received as a parent. 

I tip my hat and offer so much respect for single parents everywhere, no matter how you obtained singleness.  I knew that I would have help on Friday night.  On Friday night I will not be in charge of putting kids to bed.  On Friday night I will have someone help with kids who are up at night.  On Friday night I'll have a grown-up here who will offer me love with his eyes and step in when I need to step back.  Many people don't have that luxury and are doing a fantastic job of raising their kids.  God bless them.

God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and father.  I love doing life with him.  For now the kids are enjoying chocolate sent by Grandma Karen and I've crossed everything except one thing off of my to do list for the day.  The game closet will have to wait.  Mom Petty is moving and she sent a box of stuff for us--which included chocolate for the kids.  She is pretty cool.  She also sent dad's blanket.  It was a quilt that he had on his chair.  It smells like their house. . . like him. . and I sat on my bed and held it and cried.  I miss him.  I'm sure that mom does too.  Someday either Gary or I will probably have to say good-bye to one another for the last time.

For now I'm praying him home and I can't wait to wrap my arms around him.

Weepy Day

Have you ever had a weepy day?  Tuesday.  Tuesday was my day.

I cried talking to my mom.

I cried during leader's meeting.

I cried during Bible Study.  I was weeping during our prayer time.  God bless Darlene for praying when I couldn't!

I cried in the afternoon.

I cried while writing an e-mail.

I cried on the phone with Gary.

Sometimes the world just seems heavy.  Things are tough.  I go through tough things.  I see my kids go through tough things.  I hurt when folks I love hurt.  There is so much sadness and injustice and pain in the world.

So during our prayer time with the Bible Study leaders, we were able to claim God's promises as our prayers.  It was amazing to me how many of God's promises I know.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  He hems me in.  He has promised to go before me.  He will wash me whiter than snow.  When I am with Him I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not be faint.  Whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

God has made so many promises to me.

So this morning rather than work on my Bible Study lesson, I read the Word.  I read the underlined portions and claimed God's promises.  I'm eager to find more.  I'm eager to claim them over and over again and rest in the security that the Lord offers to me.

Few circumstances have changed since Tuesday.  I know though that my amazing and awesome Father knows all and is already working and already redeeming.  I will continue to pray and lay myself, my family, my friends, and the world before Him.

It feels good to rest in His hands.

Questions

Hi all.

Hi.

I'd like to post an amendment to the last post.  Thanks for asking me questions about our adoption.  I don't mind the questions.  I like the questions.  It means that you remember and you care.  Thanks.  What I don't like is that I don't have new answers.  It is so hard because I feel so dumb. . . maybe not dumb. . . I'm not sure what a good word would be.  When there isn't anything new to report it is hard to remain upbeat.  I want to share progress!  I want to list all the things that have been crossed off of the to do list and recently I haven't been able to to that.  It isn't a reflection of you, it is discouragement in my heart.

I received an e-mail from one of Michael's care givers asking when we were coming.  She didn't know that we had been delayed.  I asked her to please explain to Michael that we love him and that we haven't forgotten him.  We really wanted to be there in January, but it is not to be.  I asked her to give him a hug and whisper that we love him.

In the grand scheme of life, a three month delay is not that long of a time.  Right now though. . . right now it seems too long.

I'll let you know when I hear more--if we were able to send our dossier off or if we have to re-do some things.

Well then. . .

So today didn't go as planned.  Actually last night didn't go as planned.  We received an e-mail that one of our documents didn't pass.  The notary used two different colored inks (?) when documenting so it was denied.  Denied.

I got discouraged and Gary lifted me up.  I lifted him up last week when we had faced that set back.  I'm so thankful we are partners in this.

So when I got home from Bible study, Gary called and said, "you've got work to do."  I typed out a new letter.  Penny and I met Gary in Grand Haven where he was working to get it notarized.  Penny and I drove to Grand Rapids to get the golden seal affixed on it.  We made it back to Zeeland with just enough time to stop at the post office and overnight it to Chicago so the courier will get it tomorrow and can walk it into the counsalate on Thursday.  Hopefully we pass this time.

The day threw me off and certainly threw Penny off.  She got a 15 minute nap in the car, not exactly what she needed.  Her meltdown at the Secretary of State's office wasn't pretty.  I bribed her with fries.  But Michael needs us.  He needs us to get the paperwork in.  Several of our documents are expiring within days. 

My Bible Study group encouraged me today.  Frankly, I'm sick of talking about it.  I feel bad because I'm telling folks the same story over and over again.  We are living a silly soap opera where the story line never seems to move forward.  But folks still ask.  I try not to dominate conversations. . .I'm sorry if I have.  After we get everything sent to China. . Our dossier. . .then we'll have a better idea of when we are traveling. . .a good guess.

One friend offered a neat word of encouragement that I hadn't thought about before.  Perhaps God is having us wait because His work through Michael is not yet complete.  Maybe God is using him and needs to finish that out.  Yes.  Though he is only six, he knows The Lord.  It made me smile this morning.  God has us both even though we are half a world away.

2 prayer requests

Good morning!  I really enjoy Monday mornings, so I'm in good spirits today.  Hope you are too.

I have two prayer requests that I'd like to lay before you this morning.  Thanks for allowing that.  :)

1. We hit some more snags last week with adoption paperwork.  Can you just hear me  heave a sigh?  As of last Saturday, we needed one more document.  One.  It was a medical form that was at the doctor's office.  Saturday it wasn't open.  Monday Gary called during the POLAR VORTEX (say this in a loud and slow motion way) and they couldn't find it.  "Sorry.  And we will be closed tomorrow.  There is a polar vortex."  We talk with them Wednesday and Gary drops off another form for them to fill out.  The notary doesn't work on Wednesdays, so they'll wait until Thursday.  He gets word in the afternoon on Thursday that it is ready and calls me to go and pick  it up.  I wake up Penny (not a joyful experience) and we go get it.  I check to make sure the notary seal is correct.  It is!  We dance in the hallway.  We dance at home.  I dance and kiss Gary when he gets home.  Hip Hip Hooray!  Well. . . not hip hip hooray.  The information listed is from an older medical exam and therefore China will not accept it.  Hmmm  Gary calls and the notary will not be in on Friday.  GAH!  Enough.  

It is at this point that I smile.  The evil one is trying to discourage us and there are times that it most certainly works.  However, we firmly believe that God led us to Michael and that we will keep pursuing him!  Gary takes the day off on Friday, arranges to pick up a notary from our bank and take her to the doctor's office, receives a call from the doctor's office that they found another notary in the hospital, calls the bank back and cancels the ride, picks up the document, discovers that his birth date is listed wrong, corrects the error, drives to Grand Rapids to get all of the documents state sealed, and heads to the post office to overnight it to our courier in Chicago who will be walking our papers into the Chinese Consulate this morning.

Are you still with me?  Thanks.  I'm not sure I'm still with me.  :)  If they pass inspection, they will be sent to our adoption agency and our new social worker will put everything together in the right order and then it will be sent to China!  Whew!  IF everything passes and IF it is sent to the adoption agency and IF everything passes inspection, then our paperwork is done and we'll get a better idea of travel time.  Can you pray that everything comes together and the evil one is thwarted in any attempt to stall or delay or discourage?

2. I've been having trouble swallowing for the past couple of years.  I just thought I was eating too fast (a problem I know) or not chewing enough or whatever.  Gary told me to go to the doctor.  I did not.  Then a few weeks ago I had a spasm in my esophagus and it was painful and scary!  I went to the doctor.  I'm having a scope done this afternoon which will hopefully see what is the issue and correct any problems.  Sweet!  I'd love prayers that this is just not a big deal.  K?

Thanks friends!

Living differently

This year has been rough in regards to my weight control.  It was rough because there seemed to be little control.  Nothing seemed to really work well for me and I found myself being "good" for four days and "bad" for three.  Or I'd be really good for a month and lose six pounds only to be discouraged (I used to lose 10 pounds a month on Weight Watchers).  I tried several different weight loss plans and didn't seem to respond great to any of them.  It was so discouraging.

So Gary "encouraged" me to go and see a medical professional.  I feel good now that it is over.  It was hard to do, to admit that I knew what I needed to do but obviously wasn't doing it.  To sit and ask for help.  Maybe there was something wrong with me?  I kinda hoped that something was wrong with me--then it wouldn't really be my fault.   Good news: there is nothing wrong with me medically.  Bad news: the way my body functions has changed over the past 10 years and I need to do something different.  And it is kinda my fault.

So I'm doing something different.  I'm following new advice and I'm excited to feel better and look better.  It is tough.  This is hard work.  I don't like my new exercise routine.  I like easy.  I like comfortable.  BUT, I know I need to work harder if this is really what I want.  I have a caloric limit that is very reasonable.  If I make good food choices, all will be well.

New eating.
New exercise.
New year.
New determination.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Obviously I'm a bit behind in my sentiments and a bit behind in my blogging.  I've been in hibernating mode this break--enjoying the warmth of my home, the energy of my kids, and sadly the variety of delicious foods.  I've also been doing a lot of thinking, some real in depth concentration about who I am and where I am.  It has been good, but it has put me in a bit of a funk.

We had a good break as a family.  Gary had to work so very much, which we truly are thankful for.  So many don't have jobs and all the extra overtime is very helpful.  It was hard at though to spend so much of the holidays without him.  We did very much enjoy this past week-end as he was not on call.  We even made it out to the beach yesterday to enjoy the sight of the ice in the Holland channel.  We did not enjoy the biting wind.  :)

Today is back to school day although school is cancelled.  (Penny just got up and asked to snuggle.  Oh one of the many joys of being a mama.)  Having school doesn't throw me as we'll just keep on doing.  My kids could benefit from not being at home though--there has been some extra unnecessary fighting the past few days.  When they return to school they'll all be in the same class, so they had better just love each other more!  ;)

Our adoption journey is trudging along.  We received the clearance we were praying for from Homeland security.  Our next step is to get all of our documents sealed by the State.  (Having all the paperwork notarized isn't enough. . . required but not enough.)  We are missing one document, so we'll get that redone this week and hopefully get all the papers off to the Chinese consulate in Chicago.  We hire a courier who walks them in for us.  Then she'll send them back to us with the official stamps and then we can send it off to China.  Whew!  As our frustration with our social worker grew, we weren't surprised to learn that she is no longer with our adoption agency and we have been assigned a new case worker.  Ah more bumps in the road.

We test drove two conversion vans over the break and looked at two others.  We are praying about whether to purchase one of them or wait.  We've been relatively healthy, Penny and I were in the newspaper pictured sledding together, the kids don't want to take down the Christmas stuff today, and when we move out of this house someday we will still find Legos tucked into places.  It will make me smile then, although it doesn't always make me smile now.  Life is good and I'm blessed.