March 8

Today we are celebrating!  We had Devil's Food Cupcakes with strawberry icing for breakfast per birthday boy's request.  That is right.  Simon is eight.  Eight just seems so very grown up.

I'm thankful today for Simon.  I'm thankful for his tender heart.  I'm thankful for his crooked grin that will one day cost us a bit, but for now it is so beautiful and unique.  I'm grateful that Simon continues to love me though I fail him often.  I love that he can put together his Lego birthday present in less than two hours.  I love that he goes outside to play almost every day.  He wears a snowsuit that is too short for him, but he likes it better than snow pants.  That makes me happy.  Simon is his own person.  He thinks about questions that he is asked.  He doesn't request what everyone else does.  When I asked what birthday treat he wanted to bring to school, he took two days to think and then said "cake pops".  I made a disastrous (to my thinking) cake pop recipe for Christmas of 2012.  Simon loved them and remembered.  He doesn't run to greet me at school like his siblings do, but rather he waits until the dust settles and then he'll come over, turn around, and back into me.  He can be sneaky like that.  One minute you are sitting and the next, there is a Simon on your lap.  He'll change his mind about something in order to bring joy to someone else rather than himself.  He is a stubborn kid though and does not enjoy admitting that he is wrong about anything.  He is well liked and likes others, choosing not to have a few friends but many.  His hair is way too long for my liking, but he loves it and chooses to keep it.  I respect that.  He'll try new foods any chance he can--including cow tongue tacos three week-ends ago.  He loved them.  I now have a cow tongue in my freezer awaiting my cooking skills.  When he eats something he really likes, Simon will give a big "mmmmmm" at first bite.  It makes this mama smile.

I love him a lot.  I like him too.

Today I'm also grateful for a mom and dad across the world who may be remembering the events of early spring in 2006.  I wish I could thank them for loving Simon for several months before bringing him to the orphanage for the care that they couldn't give him.  I wish I could hug them and assure them that their son is well loved and thriving.  For today though I will smile and marvel and hug my son (too many times for him!) and thank God that adoption is possible.  I'll also pray for these birth parents and for the millions of others around the world who made a very difficult decision. . . and I'll bless God that these two chose life.

Delightful

"Blog" has been on my to-do list for many days and I just don't seem to get to it.  Tonight is the night.

Last night I experienced one of my highlights of being a parent.  God has given so very many, but I won't ever forget this one.  A few months ago we began to read chapter books to the oldest ducks at night.  They share a room and it worked so great to tuck them in and then read a chapter or two.  We've enjoyed "Pippi and the South Seas" as well as a Romana book.  Romana was a bit disappointing because when we turned the last page we realized that there were many pages missing.  Oops.  I need to be checking these things before we begin a book.

Last week we began "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  My kids don't have any idea about what happens other than I will randomly sing the Oompa Loompa song.  They are enchanted.  So am I.

Last night I read a little extra because I KNEW that Charlie was going to discover the golden ticket.  The chapter before is all about how Charlie is starving and things are just dire in the Bucket household.  Then I got to the moment.  The moment when Charlie decides to buy a second candy bar after inhaling the first one.  The moment when he seems a glimmer of gold.  I'm not even sure if I can adequately describe what happened to my ducks.

Simon's face disappeared because his smile was so huge.  Noel sat up in bed and began to shout and clap.  Garrison was bouncing and cheering.  The best part was that it didn't stop.  There was so much happiness in the bedroom. . . so much excitement. . . because of a book.  

And I was allowed to be there.

I know that as my kids get older they will read on their own.  I'm glad.  I know that they may choose to share wonderful things that they read in books.  I doubt though that in future years I will see them cheering and clapping and bouncing because they got lost in a book.

So I took it all in.  I enjoyed and smiled and celebrated with them.  I even got a little teary eyed because my kids got caught up in the magic of the story.  And it was so very beautiful.

Hugged with prayer

Last night in book club, I experienced the love of the saints.  I was uplifted and encouraged.

I'm enjoying book club at my church on Wednesday nights.  I'm enjoying the books, but mostly I'm enjoying the people.  I really love them.  I love that we talk and laugh and encourage and challenge.  I love that they are all older than me and I get to sit at their feet and learn from them.  Sometimes I talk too much.  They forgive me.

Because I respect these folks so much, I asked if I could pick their brains last week about a decision that Gary and I are wrestling with.  They gladly listened, offered a few suggestions, and then promised to pray.  I knew they would.  That means the world to me!

This week they asked if we had made a decision and what it was.  We haven't, although Gary is meeting with someone today to get more information.  I'm excited.  I'm trusting that God will reveal to us what path to take when Gary and Mark get together.  I love having confidence in God.

So after we talked a bit about it, including whether we were facing discouragement from the enemy in an effort to stop us from doing what God would have us do OR if we were facing discouragement because God was trying to stop us from going down a certain path (they often look the same--at least to me). . . so after a bit of discussion, my friend John speaks up.  John DenBleyker.  He is one of His saints I just know it.

"This is all good to talk about this, but what the enemy really hates is when we pray.  I think we should pray right now for Shanda and Gary.  Right now.  Let's do it."

And then they did.  They bowed and covered us with prayer.  In book club. In the church basement.  I am so blessed and so humbled, and so very honored. . . and I learned a thing or two.

I'm good at listening and processing and praying, but I don't always follow the listening and processing with prayer.  It is the first action that I need to take.  First.  I'm feeling great this morning because my feet are set on solid ground and I'm confident in my amazing God that He will give us wisdom and peace to move forward--whatever direction that may be.  I also know that I need to do more praying for my friends--over them--at the moment.  I have a friend coming over in an hour to talk.  She wanted some advice.  I'm going to listen and help her process and then I will pray over her before she leaves.  It isn't something I would automatically do, but now I have the example of John DenBleyker before me.

Such joy

Hello!  Long time no see.  I've had "blog" written on my to-do list several times this week, but hey. . . things happen.  Friends from Chicago visiting are visiting for the week-end and everyone is off to see the Lego movie. . . everyone except for Penny and I.  She is napping and I find myself alone with a clean house, dishwasher going and dryer almost done.  Time to blog.

Last week-end our small group from church came over for pizza.  Our house was full of folks and noise. . .wonderful.  Everyone was asked to bring along some craft supplies and after all the food had been consumed, the table was filled with papers, markers, stickers, crayons, glue and even some glitter.  The glitter was then put away.  In front of the sliding glass doors we had hung 23 manila envelopes with the names of the widows and widowers from our church--one on each envelope.  Then the joyful chaos began.  Valentines were created, signed, and tucked into envelopes.  Some of the widows we knew, others were just a name to us.  It didn't matter.  God tells us in His Word to take care of the widows and we were going to do just that by giving them some love this Valentines Day.  Interest waned and bedtime approached after about an hour, but it was enough.  My kids added some special candy treats the next day and the valentines were ready to go.

For those who can attend church regularly, we placed the envelopes in their church mailboxes.  Then I had the honor of delivering the rest.  I went one night with my boys to the Zeeland nursing home residents.  My boys did great.  They really enjoyed taking turns carrying the valentines.  We enjoyed meeting Roger Maat and being invited into his room and seeing pictures of his grandchildren.  I had a wonderful conversation with the boys on the way out.  "Why do you think he wanted us to come in and talk with him?"  "Maybe he is lonely and doesn't have many people to talk with."  "That could be.  I might be here in this nursing home someday.  I hope that you will come and visit me sometimes so I won't be alone."  "Mom, you'll never be alone.  God will always be with you."  I'm so thankful for the work of the Lord through my sons.

Penny and I were able to deliver the last three envelopes to the nursing home residents in Holland on Friday morning.  Though we had a wonderful experience with all three of the women we saw, there was one that was a highlight for me.  We needed help finding Mrs. Evelyn Timmer.  The nurse thought she might be sleeping, but we were welcome to check.  Penny and I entered her room and she was sitting in her chair dozing, but not completely asleep.  She had been roused by the nurse.  I got down on one knee in front of her so that I could look into her eyes.  Penny held the big envelope up right in front of her face (yup, we need a little practice here).  I took it and put it on Evelyn's lap.  She looked at me through half open eyes.  I smiled and spoke.  "Hello Mrs. Timmer.  My name is Shanda and this is Penny.  We are from your church: Holland Heights Church.  We came today to bring you some valentines."  There was little recognition from Evelyn.  "What?"  I tried again. . . a little louder and a little shorter.  "We are from Holland Heights Church."  Not much response yet from Evelyn, although she was seeming more awake.  "These are valentines Mrs. Timmer.  Would you like for me to open the envelope?"  While I was talking with Evelyn, I wasn't completely aware of what Penny was doing.  Dancing.  She was dancing.  She danced over to the butterfly picture.  She danced back to Evelyn.  She danced to the window and looked at the snow.  Then she danced back to Evelyn.  It was then that I saw Evelyn's eyes and saw the smile.  Her face had joy.  "Do you love to dance little girl?"  "Yes" I said.  "This is Penny and she does love to dance."  "Look at you dance.  Do you love to dance?"  Penny smiled and continued her dance for Mrs. Timmer.  I sat back and watched. . . through a few tears as my new friend Evelyn watched my daughter dance around her room.  Evelyn talked no less than five times about the little girl joyfully dancing in her room.  I tried to engage her again with more conversation, but is was useless.  She only had eyes for Penny and she only could talk about dancing.  I thanked God for letting me see this, for using Penny to bring joy to this sweet woman.  Lest I get too prideful about the entire situation, a nurse poked her head in the room.

"Excuse me, but did you drop some panties?"  "What?!?"  I was dumbfounded.  "I don't think so."  My mind was reeling--why would they ask me this?  I don't take along extra clothes for Penny anymore.  What?!?  "Um, well, they are pretty small and wouldn't fit any of our residents."  "I didn't take any extra underwear."  "Are you sure?  Can I show them to you?"  Then she held them up. . . clasped between her thumb and first finger.  

White.  Size 4.  Hanes.  Skid Marks.
These are indeed Penny's underwear.

Thankfully Evelyn was enjoying her show and missed the entire conversation.  I was very embarrassed and apologized as I grabbed the underwear and shoved them into my pocket.  Dirty underwear!  As much as I can figure, Penny was wearing pants from the day before and when she had changed at night she had left her underwear in the pant leg or some such thing. . . and then put the pants on again today.  Then, while walking down the hall, the underwear must have worked themselves out of her pant leg.  Oy Vey.  We said our good-byes to Evelyn and moved on.

Our thanks to Iris Kamer as well who opened her valentines, saw the chocolates inside, heard Penny say she wanted some of the chocolates, and then gave her one.  We'll work on that Iris.

I'm so thankful that God continues to teach me and one of the ways He is doing it is through my children.

Brand New Event

I did something on Wednesday morning that I've never done before--I aided in Penny's 3-school classroom.  I aided as well with Garrison, Simon and Noel, but they were all in Spanish.  I held my own in Spanish, but Wednesday morning was hilarious.

It was hilarious because 3 year olds speak a lot in English.

It was hilarious because 3 year olds are honest in English.

It was hilarious because 3 year olds are just goofy sometimes.

It was hilarious because my daughter Penny was the special person.

Penny is a wonderful special person.  She basks in the attention without being obnoxious.  She listens to her teacher and responds to all of the questions.  She needs no help to dress the weather bear.  She kept smiling at her mama because she got to sit in the special chair and wear a special necklace and choose her favorite shape.  She jumped and skipped and danced her way through the morning.  And she was hilarious.  Her comments and mannerisms and motions and saucy tossing of her head is so funny.  I caught one of the aides laughing about something Penny did several times.  

What made the morning wonderful as well is that my perception that Penny is funny was confirmed.  CONFIRMED!  I was talking with one of the aids as we were assisting students with painting using toy trucks.  After one of the students sported an attitude, the aide and I exchanged smiles.  Then I got serious--very serious.  "Is Penny every disrespectful?  Does she listen to the teachers?  Does she treat the others well?  Please tell me if you see this in her."  "Oh no.  Penny is great.  She is so silly sometimes and makes me laugh."

See--confirmation.  Penny is funny.  We've been home all morning and have had so much fun together.  I truly love spending time with just her and once again I bless God that He gave her to me last so that we have so much time alone together.  We laugh and laugh and dance and then laugh some more.  She throws a fit now and then, but she seems to get over it rather quickly.

So I had fun in her class.  I could talk with the students with many more words than I used in Spanish.  Penny would randomly come over and kiss me on the cheek.  She sang her heart out.  She danced in her chair.  She folded her hands, closed her eyes, and bowed her head and I got a little teary.

I love being a mama.

The picture again

I discovered that the picture I tried to post didn't take!  I'm going to try again.

 Isn't that beautiful?!?  He is loved.  He loves in return.  It will be hard for him to leave this woman. . . this care giver, yet I'm so thankful because it means that he can love.  We will have to deal with grieving, but I know and trust that he will be able to love again and next time it will be me!  :)

Adoption progress

hug



I love this picture.  I received it this morning and it helps my heart.  Michael is loved.  Michael loves his nanny.  He is held and treasured and valued.  God is so very good.

Our dossier is on its way to China.  We have completed the paperwork on our end for the time being and now we wait.  We wait for the translating and all the other things that China needs to do.  That is the good news.  The other news is that we were told that the best case scenario has us traveling in June.  It isn't the news we were hoping for, but we are o.k.  God is bigger.  God has the whole world in His hands and He cares for us and for Michael, so although our family isn't together right now, it won't be long and we will be!  :)

Thanks for your prayers.  Thanks for loving us and surprising us.  Sometime it will be my arms around my son.  Again I'm reminded that God has Michael in such a wonderful environment.  Aside from being with us. We couldn't ask for a better situation.