Blogging

I'm finding myself thinking about blogging again.  Funny things happen during my day or I learn something or do something foolish and I find myself beginning to compose a blog post about it in my head.

I've been absent for awhile.  There are several reasons for this.  First, I've been so much busier than I ever dreamed that I would be.  I thought that once school began, I'd have some free time during the day where I could sit and blog.  That ain't happening.  My life is full and busy and wonderful and stressful.  I'm discovering that I'm doing a better job of managing my time more now than when I just had Garrison.  I'm getting on my to-do list more quickly.  That is a good thing.  There are some things though that just keep falling further on down the list.  For example, a friend gave me a bag of clothes for which I was very thankful.  I have a basket full of girls size 6 (too small for Noel and too big for Penny) sitting on the floor of my room.  It has been there for weeks.  It just needs to go downstairs and be put in the right bin in the long storage room. Doing this job would take about 10 minutes, but there are so many other things that are of greater importance that it just doesn't get done.  It'll happen.

Second, my life seems pretty ordinary.  For a long time we were focused on the big changes of adoption and before that was the birth of Penny and before that was the drama with my dad and before that was the adoption of Simon.  There always seemed to be something next--and on this day there isn't a something next.  I believe that is a good thing, but I don't have new announcements to share.

Third, I've been struggling with what to share.  As my kids get older I want to be more mindful of who they are and what I say about them.  They are working out their lives and making small mistakes and making big mistakes and celebrating victories every day.  I want them to decide what they share with the world and not me.  It gives me a little angst to try to discern what is appropriate and what isn't.

Finally, I don't want to be a broken record about adoption.  So much of our lives right now is tied up in Michael and his medical issues and his adjustment.  It is our journey at the moment and it is what we see every day.  I don't want to "blah blah blah" about it all the time.

Then this morning during my devotions in I Thessalonians, I looked at how Paul shared of himself.  Sometimes he got burned, but he always got back up again and kept on sharing who he was and what he believed.  I was challenged by Beth Moore (who is my very good friend even though she doesn't know it yet) to share my story.  This is one of the sentences that I underlined.

This I do know: we're all called by Christ to serve people.  We each get to decide how vulnerable we're going to be in the process.

I sat for awhile in my prayer chair this morning and asked God to show me how vulnerable I need to be.  I felt a stirring that I needed to open up more again and share more of my story.  This morning an on-line friend challenged her blog readers who have adopted to get the word out--not about how folks should adopt, but how challenging it can be.  She begged for adoptive moms to tell it like it is.

So I knew that after dropping Penny off at school and running my errand, I needed to return home and blog.  I can't commit to specific days, but I'm going to make more of an effort and then I'll see what God gives as the result of my obedience.