Michael is moving to English Kindergarten. (My ipad told me to spell it kindergarden and this laptop tells me kindergarten. Take your pick. I'm sure you'll pick the correct one.)
I had a meeting at school this week with some fabulous women who are educating and working with Michael. After these first three months, they feel that because he doesn't have a nice strong and solid English background and because he is has some delays, it would be best to move him out of Manderin immersion and into full time English class.
This is hard. It is hard because I've been thinking about this for the past couple of weeks (even before it was brought up). I began to sense that maybe Michael would be better off in preschool and learning English. I shoved that aside knowing that the school would have told me if that was the case. They told me. They told us. Another hard part is that Michael is going to lose his Mandarin. I know that this decision is the best one for him long term, but I remember watching Simon lose all of his language and it broke small pieces of my heart. Now Michael will do the same thing. Statistics show that it will take about 6 months. We'll try our best to fight that by having our other kids use their Mandarin with him. It is hard because I love the kids in his class, I love his teacher, I love Michael's smile when he talks about the kids in his class, I love I love I love. Loving sets us up for heartbreak, so we are doing what is best even though it hurts. Plus, it can make me really selfish. And I am selfish and need to fight against it.
Once again, Michael is going to be moved into something different. (Four months ago he moved into a different family, culture, country, school, bed, eating structure, language. . . quite the shock!) I believe he will be o.k. because I've seen him work through it. I'm so glad that I get to be with him this time. . . I was with him last time too but this time he trusts me. He loves me and I love him. Last time we weren't kissing on the lips yet. :)
We don't know when this is happening, but we completely trust the school leaders to plan and let us know. That is one thing that makes this much easier. I completely trust the leadership of Zeeland Christian School. It is wonderful that I don't feel the need to contradict. I'll ask questions of course, but I trust the answers.
God has put Michael into our lives for purpose and into our school for purpose. We are just following His lead.
On a side note--Michael had a big specialist appointment in Farmington Hills a few weeks ago. The results of the CT scan of his ear canals was very discouraging. The canals are so small, bones are fused together, pockets are tiny. . .after looking at the scan and visually inspecting his ears they talked to me about hearing aids. Surgery didn't fit at all for how Michael's skull is shaped. They wanted to give him a hearing test because they didn't trust the results of his other hearing test. (I didn't either. Michael cheated.) After the hearing test they entered the room in disbelief. Against everything that they can see, Michael can hear out of both ears. It isn't stellar, but it is good enough that he doesn't need a hearing aid right now. Gary and I praised God for the miracle that only He could do for Michael.
Michael's eyes are also getting better with the patching we are doing at home. God continues to be faithful in so many ways and I have no doubt that this will continue. I'll be waiting and watching and enjoying God.
Penny just got up (napping twice a week these days) and I promised that I'd teach her Wii bowling. We are enjoying our second snow day off from school this week.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Big Girl Pants
I've been reciting this many times over the past month.
I've written it on my to-do list. I've recited it before making a phone call. I've called Gary to tell him that I'm ready to put them on. I've even told my kids that I needed to go and put my big girl pants on.
What are big girl pants? Well. . .I'm afraid to do different tasks that come my way. I'm afraid that I might get confronted. I'm afraid that someone I love will be unhappy. I don't like talking to folks at a doctor's office to make an appointment. I don't like to talk to a business about problems or return clothes. I don't want to take the car in to get the tires rotated because I feel uncomfortable. These are all "big girl" things. If I put on my big girl pants, then I need to be a big girl and do these tasks that are in front of me.
So in the very recent past, I've been avoiding some of these tasks or begging Gary to do them for me. Although I still find myself falling into some of these holes. . . I'm standing up more and more. I'm doing tasks that I'm afraid of. I'm making phone calls that I don't like.
And it is going o.k.
Phone calls go well. I smile and say that I was put in charge and so I'm going to trust that the Holy Spirit will fill me and help me make good decisions about Bible Study groups. I can call and change a doctor's appointment. (Oh I dreaded that one!)
I'm 42 now and perhaps. . . .perhaps it's time for me to wear my big girl pants more often. :)
"Big Girl Pants"
I've written it on my to-do list. I've recited it before making a phone call. I've called Gary to tell him that I'm ready to put them on. I've even told my kids that I needed to go and put my big girl pants on.
What are big girl pants? Well. . .I'm afraid to do different tasks that come my way. I'm afraid that I might get confronted. I'm afraid that someone I love will be unhappy. I don't like talking to folks at a doctor's office to make an appointment. I don't like to talk to a business about problems or return clothes. I don't want to take the car in to get the tires rotated because I feel uncomfortable. These are all "big girl" things. If I put on my big girl pants, then I need to be a big girl and do these tasks that are in front of me.
So in the very recent past, I've been avoiding some of these tasks or begging Gary to do them for me. Although I still find myself falling into some of these holes. . . I'm standing up more and more. I'm doing tasks that I'm afraid of. I'm making phone calls that I don't like.
And it is going o.k.
Phone calls go well. I smile and say that I was put in charge and so I'm going to trust that the Holy Spirit will fill me and help me make good decisions about Bible Study groups. I can call and change a doctor's appointment. (Oh I dreaded that one!)
I'm 42 now and perhaps. . . .perhaps it's time for me to wear my big girl pants more often. :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
42
I'm 42 today and I wasn't yesterday. Yup, it is my birthday.
At our house, birthdays are met with cupcakes for breakfast. No cupcakes. No family gifts. No special supper. No special treatment--the usual fighting. No respit from kid homework. 10 minutes with my hubby.
It was a good birthday. We were given money to go out for supper from AT&T for Gary's 15 anniversary and so we went last night. Gary is on-call so I knew we had to go when we could. It was a great meal and our kids did great in the restaurant-a great gift. Good thing we went last night as Gary worked until 5:30 this morning and so he went to bed as soon as he got home from work today. I went to my friends house to order family pictures and she asked me to stay for lunch. My Bible Study sisters in The Lord sang to me. I made a new supper (pumpkin pancakes) that went over well with the kids. I saw my mom. I snuggled with Penny in bed and watched cooking. I exercised. A friend stopped by with a card and an orange necklace. I received a pickle card.
Best of all, the Holy Spirit fell all over our Bible Study group this morning. He was felt and heard and glorified.
I love walking with The Lord. I love it when I ask him to show up and He does! (I shouldn't be surprised right?!?). Birthday or not, this was a great day. I received encouragement from friends and family and I bless God for putting them in my life.
I was a little uneasy this morning about how my day would go, but it was wonderful. It was ordinary and extraordinary all in the same breath. Isn't that great? I have a feeling that if I ask God for the same thing tomorrow He'll give it to me. I just need to look and listen.
At our house, birthdays are met with cupcakes for breakfast. No cupcakes. No family gifts. No special supper. No special treatment--the usual fighting. No respit from kid homework. 10 minutes with my hubby.
It was a good birthday. We were given money to go out for supper from AT&T for Gary's 15 anniversary and so we went last night. Gary is on-call so I knew we had to go when we could. It was a great meal and our kids did great in the restaurant-a great gift. Good thing we went last night as Gary worked until 5:30 this morning and so he went to bed as soon as he got home from work today. I went to my friends house to order family pictures and she asked me to stay for lunch. My Bible Study sisters in The Lord sang to me. I made a new supper (pumpkin pancakes) that went over well with the kids. I saw my mom. I snuggled with Penny in bed and watched cooking. I exercised. A friend stopped by with a card and an orange necklace. I received a pickle card.
Best of all, the Holy Spirit fell all over our Bible Study group this morning. He was felt and heard and glorified.
I love walking with The Lord. I love it when I ask him to show up and He does! (I shouldn't be surprised right?!?). Birthday or not, this was a great day. I received encouragement from friends and family and I bless God for putting them in my life.
I was a little uneasy this morning about how my day would go, but it was wonderful. It was ordinary and extraordinary all in the same breath. Isn't that great? I have a feeling that if I ask God for the same thing tomorrow He'll give it to me. I just need to look and listen.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Blogging
I'm finding myself thinking about blogging again. Funny things happen during my day or I learn something or do something foolish and I find myself beginning to compose a blog post about it in my head.
I've been absent for awhile. There are several reasons for this. First, I've been so much busier than I ever dreamed that I would be. I thought that once school began, I'd have some free time during the day where I could sit and blog. That ain't happening. My life is full and busy and wonderful and stressful. I'm discovering that I'm doing a better job of managing my time more now than when I just had Garrison. I'm getting on my to-do list more quickly. That is a good thing. There are some things though that just keep falling further on down the list. For example, a friend gave me a bag of clothes for which I was very thankful. I have a basket full of girls size 6 (too small for Noel and too big for Penny) sitting on the floor of my room. It has been there for weeks. It just needs to go downstairs and be put in the right bin in the long storage room. Doing this job would take about 10 minutes, but there are so many other things that are of greater importance that it just doesn't get done. It'll happen.
Second, my life seems pretty ordinary. For a long time we were focused on the big changes of adoption and before that was the birth of Penny and before that was the drama with my dad and before that was the adoption of Simon. There always seemed to be something next--and on this day there isn't a something next. I believe that is a good thing, but I don't have new announcements to share.
Third, I've been struggling with what to share. As my kids get older I want to be more mindful of who they are and what I say about them. They are working out their lives and making small mistakes and making big mistakes and celebrating victories every day. I want them to decide what they share with the world and not me. It gives me a little angst to try to discern what is appropriate and what isn't.
Finally, I don't want to be a broken record about adoption. So much of our lives right now is tied up in Michael and his medical issues and his adjustment. It is our journey at the moment and it is what we see every day. I don't want to "blah blah blah" about it all the time.
Then this morning during my devotions in I Thessalonians, I looked at how Paul shared of himself. Sometimes he got burned, but he always got back up again and kept on sharing who he was and what he believed. I was challenged by Beth Moore (who is my very good friend even though she doesn't know it yet) to share my story. This is one of the sentences that I underlined.
This I do know: we're all called by Christ to serve people. We each get to decide how vulnerable we're going to be in the process.
I sat for awhile in my prayer chair this morning and asked God to show me how vulnerable I need to be. I felt a stirring that I needed to open up more again and share more of my story. This morning an on-line friend challenged her blog readers who have adopted to get the word out--not about how folks should adopt, but how challenging it can be. She begged for adoptive moms to tell it like it is.
So I knew that after dropping Penny off at school and running my errand, I needed to return home and blog. I can't commit to specific days, but I'm going to make more of an effort and then I'll see what God gives as the result of my obedience.
I've been absent for awhile. There are several reasons for this. First, I've been so much busier than I ever dreamed that I would be. I thought that once school began, I'd have some free time during the day where I could sit and blog. That ain't happening. My life is full and busy and wonderful and stressful. I'm discovering that I'm doing a better job of managing my time more now than when I just had Garrison. I'm getting on my to-do list more quickly. That is a good thing. There are some things though that just keep falling further on down the list. For example, a friend gave me a bag of clothes for which I was very thankful. I have a basket full of girls size 6 (too small for Noel and too big for Penny) sitting on the floor of my room. It has been there for weeks. It just needs to go downstairs and be put in the right bin in the long storage room. Doing this job would take about 10 minutes, but there are so many other things that are of greater importance that it just doesn't get done. It'll happen.
Second, my life seems pretty ordinary. For a long time we were focused on the big changes of adoption and before that was the birth of Penny and before that was the drama with my dad and before that was the adoption of Simon. There always seemed to be something next--and on this day there isn't a something next. I believe that is a good thing, but I don't have new announcements to share.
Third, I've been struggling with what to share. As my kids get older I want to be more mindful of who they are and what I say about them. They are working out their lives and making small mistakes and making big mistakes and celebrating victories every day. I want them to decide what they share with the world and not me. It gives me a little angst to try to discern what is appropriate and what isn't.
Finally, I don't want to be a broken record about adoption. So much of our lives right now is tied up in Michael and his medical issues and his adjustment. It is our journey at the moment and it is what we see every day. I don't want to "blah blah blah" about it all the time.
Then this morning during my devotions in I Thessalonians, I looked at how Paul shared of himself. Sometimes he got burned, but he always got back up again and kept on sharing who he was and what he believed. I was challenged by Beth Moore (who is my very good friend even though she doesn't know it yet) to share my story. This is one of the sentences that I underlined.
This I do know: we're all called by Christ to serve people. We each get to decide how vulnerable we're going to be in the process.
I sat for awhile in my prayer chair this morning and asked God to show me how vulnerable I need to be. I felt a stirring that I needed to open up more again and share more of my story. This morning an on-line friend challenged her blog readers who have adopted to get the word out--not about how folks should adopt, but how challenging it can be. She begged for adoptive moms to tell it like it is.
So I knew that after dropping Penny off at school and running my errand, I needed to return home and blog. I can't commit to specific days, but I'm going to make more of an effort and then I'll see what God gives as the result of my obedience.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Sunday Church
I finally began laughing 10 minutes before the end of the service. It was when I took an envelope, grabbed a crayon, and began writing down all the things that had gone "wrong" within Sprick nation in the pew. Here is my list.
Crying 3x (Three kids cried at some point during the service. Noel cried because she kept writing "G" when she meant to write "C" while trying to spell "Sprick" in the Friendship Register. )
Whining
Kicking
Dropping Pappers; 3x 4x 5x 6x
mint (continually asking for a pink peppermint!)
cookies (Michael began asking if there would be cookies during the offering. He did it as least 4 more times. He kept on holding up his first finger indicating he knew he could only take 1. At least that wasn't an issue.)
Sitting on lap (Michael and Penny fought over my lap-several times)
singing (Michael refused to stand up at one point and then sang in the middle of the sermon)
2 Papers Drama over not being allowed to take more than two children's bulletins.
ARAR--Pastor George asked us to say this word. Penny said it rather loudly 2 seconds after everyone else.
The icing on the church cake was when Noel went into a huge funk over the letter "C" and then began sobbing. I asked her to get out of it and she refused. I then dramatically wrote "Noel Punishment" in black ink pen on the palm of my hand so that I could remember (please tell me I'm not the only parent to have forgotten to give out a promised consequence!) Michael saw me write on my hand and then took his marker and wrote all over his. Oh Shanda. Not only did I have to hide the palm of my left hand from all the other saints in the church, but now my son has red marker everywhere because I was a shining example. ((sigh))
When I began laughing it all seemed o.k. I was still a bit embarrassed about distracting the folks around us from worship. Then again, they did promise at our children's baptisms (Michael hasn't been baptized yet, but I think he is included) to help us raise our children. Surely they know that not every kid is going to behave in church all the time. Sprick Nation raised the stakes by taking five ducks to church.
The takeaway? I still learned a few things from the sermon (though I missed most of it I think). I still loved singing. I love sitting with my family. My kids want to sit on my lap. I used to ask for more peppermints too. I didn't have any trouble with Garrison. Someday Gary and I will be sitting with just the two of us in church and we'll look with wonder and a touch of envy at a young family in front of us. And finally, writing "punishment" on your hand might not be the best thing to do ever--next time use code. :)
Monday, September 1, 2014
New Post
"He is an amazing kid and I'm excited that I get a front row seat to see how God uses him in the Kingdom."
This is the sentence that I just wrote to a friend via e-mail. It was written about Michael and it is true. True. Yesterday I might have written something along the lines of adopting being hard and at times I need to find patience where I think there is none. Another day might bring news of extreme joy at watching him discover brand new things around him or work so very hard to put English words together. My heart broke on the second day of school when I left him in his classroom crying because he realized that I'd be gone all day long just like the day before. (His teacher e-mailed me later stating that "It goes well.") Other times I'm crabby because I just am sick of him in our house. It is all true.
We are a new family unit with new ups and downs. Adopting is amazing on so many levels and hard on so many other levels. I feel like one of those flip books where you can choose a head/body/feet and they might match or not. We haven't matched often, but we'll get there. I know we will. We haven't been together for very long and though I can keep telling myself that, it can be hard when you are living in the day. God pulls me back to look at the big picture. The big picture is so bright and encouraging!
Life has really been good. Michael got glasses and his world is bigger and more clear that ever! I've enjoyed seeing the world through his eyes. He already has a scratch on the lens and the glasses have gotten bent several times, but hey--he is six! He is very faithful about wearing them and I love how cute he is with them on. They do sometimes get in the way of us snuggling, but we've been known to take off the glasses if we want to get cheek to cheek. I'm o.k. with that. :) We are going to go to Holland Hospital sometime in October (hopefully) to get his teeth taken care of. He'll be put under so everything can be done at once. It'll save many trips and multiple injections for my little guy. Plus, he wont be afraid of the dentist. Bonus. We've been referred to DeVos Children's hospital for a hearing test and CT scan. I'm eager to see the results of that one. We also know that his palate is rather high and that explains why he can sound "airy" at times and why making certain sounds is so challenging. Speech therapy is in our future for sure. Isn't it amazing that we have so many resources at our disposal to help make his life better? God is so very good.
Our other kids are doing well and living the same flip book as I am. Sometimes they love being with Michael and other times they don't. Simon said to me about three weeks ago that he just didn't like Michael. I assured him that it was o.k. to feel that way. He looked at me with complete surprise. "Christ doesn't ask us to like him. He does ask us to love him. We need to work hard to be kind and patient with him. Hopefully someday, you'll like your brother." Simon felt good about that and just this week-end as I watched them laughing together I asked Simon again. "Hey. How are you feeling about Michael these days? Do you like him better, the same, or worse?" His reply. "I like him better. He is really funny." Noel has the most patience with him and is a little mother to him--which goes over sometimes and doesn't at other times. I'm glad that Michael can assert what he is feeling--in Mandarin and that Noel understands him. :) Penny is completely unaware that Michael speaks and understands very little English. She talks with him exactly like she talks with everyone else. It is hilarious and I see no need to correct her. Penny and Michael seem to communicate very well with each other.
Garrison caught some toads last week and organized a sale of them to raise some money for himself. Noel was so distraught that I gave her the money to redeem them. Everyone was happy with the outcome. Simon has spent so much time digging this summer that his fingernails are "distraught" (doctors words) and they are falling off. Penny still wears a leotard wherever she goes. She proudly announces that she is going to begin Mandarin school, but will work in Spanish when she grows up. Noel is a bundle of maturity one minute and full of drama the next. I love being with her and am enjoying the grown up conversations that we are having. She is taking a break from gymnastics for the time being. Garrison and Simon are beginning soccer and Michael can't understand why he isn't playing. He also wants to go potty every time he sees a port-o-john. This mama don't play that game. Gary is on-call this week, the first since we left for China. I'm cooking meals again and this feels good--it feels normal. I'm so thankful for the meals that we received, but it is good for us to be on our own too. I have several tucked away in the freezer for those days with doctor's appointments and the like. I'm beyond grateful.
Life is good and God is good.
This is the sentence that I just wrote to a friend via e-mail. It was written about Michael and it is true. True. Yesterday I might have written something along the lines of adopting being hard and at times I need to find patience where I think there is none. Another day might bring news of extreme joy at watching him discover brand new things around him or work so very hard to put English words together. My heart broke on the second day of school when I left him in his classroom crying because he realized that I'd be gone all day long just like the day before. (His teacher e-mailed me later stating that "It goes well.") Other times I'm crabby because I just am sick of him in our house. It is all true.
We are a new family unit with new ups and downs. Adopting is amazing on so many levels and hard on so many other levels. I feel like one of those flip books where you can choose a head/body/feet and they might match or not. We haven't matched often, but we'll get there. I know we will. We haven't been together for very long and though I can keep telling myself that, it can be hard when you are living in the day. God pulls me back to look at the big picture. The big picture is so bright and encouraging!
Life has really been good. Michael got glasses and his world is bigger and more clear that ever! I've enjoyed seeing the world through his eyes. He already has a scratch on the lens and the glasses have gotten bent several times, but hey--he is six! He is very faithful about wearing them and I love how cute he is with them on. They do sometimes get in the way of us snuggling, but we've been known to take off the glasses if we want to get cheek to cheek. I'm o.k. with that. :) We are going to go to Holland Hospital sometime in October (hopefully) to get his teeth taken care of. He'll be put under so everything can be done at once. It'll save many trips and multiple injections for my little guy. Plus, he wont be afraid of the dentist. Bonus. We've been referred to DeVos Children's hospital for a hearing test and CT scan. I'm eager to see the results of that one. We also know that his palate is rather high and that explains why he can sound "airy" at times and why making certain sounds is so challenging. Speech therapy is in our future for sure. Isn't it amazing that we have so many resources at our disposal to help make his life better? God is so very good.
Our other kids are doing well and living the same flip book as I am. Sometimes they love being with Michael and other times they don't. Simon said to me about three weeks ago that he just didn't like Michael. I assured him that it was o.k. to feel that way. He looked at me with complete surprise. "Christ doesn't ask us to like him. He does ask us to love him. We need to work hard to be kind and patient with him. Hopefully someday, you'll like your brother." Simon felt good about that and just this week-end as I watched them laughing together I asked Simon again. "Hey. How are you feeling about Michael these days? Do you like him better, the same, or worse?" His reply. "I like him better. He is really funny." Noel has the most patience with him and is a little mother to him--which goes over sometimes and doesn't at other times. I'm glad that Michael can assert what he is feeling--in Mandarin and that Noel understands him. :) Penny is completely unaware that Michael speaks and understands very little English. She talks with him exactly like she talks with everyone else. It is hilarious and I see no need to correct her. Penny and Michael seem to communicate very well with each other.
Garrison caught some toads last week and organized a sale of them to raise some money for himself. Noel was so distraught that I gave her the money to redeem them. Everyone was happy with the outcome. Simon has spent so much time digging this summer that his fingernails are "distraught" (doctors words) and they are falling off. Penny still wears a leotard wherever she goes. She proudly announces that she is going to begin Mandarin school, but will work in Spanish when she grows up. Noel is a bundle of maturity one minute and full of drama the next. I love being with her and am enjoying the grown up conversations that we are having. She is taking a break from gymnastics for the time being. Garrison and Simon are beginning soccer and Michael can't understand why he isn't playing. He also wants to go potty every time he sees a port-o-john. This mama don't play that game. Gary is on-call this week, the first since we left for China. I'm cooking meals again and this feels good--it feels normal. I'm so thankful for the meals that we received, but it is good for us to be on our own too. I have several tucked away in the freezer for those days with doctor's appointments and the like. I'm beyond grateful.
Life is good and God is good.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
4 weeks
It is hard to believe that Michael has officially been our son for four weeks. It seems to normal and surreal at the same time.
We just returned from a week of camping. We didn't know if we'd be able to go until we met Michael and evaluated his adjustment. It went so well. Gary was able to take the week off and we spent time together as a family. Michael is growing in so many ways--every day is a new discovery for him and he celebrates learning very visibly. The friends who camped with us laughed and celebrated with us as we watched him learn new skills (pounding in a tent stake or riding a tricycle) and new words (marshmallow). It is really fun to experience the world through new eyes. Being with friends also encouraged us in so many ways. It is easy to get bogged down with daily life and events and I think we all left refreshed. (I wasn't so refreshed after doing lots of laundry.)
I love my Michael. He is a gem with a smile that takes over his whole face--I find myself smiling at him a lot because he is smiling at me. He squeals with delight at new things and it makes me laugh. He loves life and loves me. He is fun and has become very affectionate with all of us. I must say that God made a great choice when He picked him to be in our family--he is a Sprick and certainly one of the ducks.
Michael is a worker bee and wants to use all of his new skills all of the time. This can be fun or is can be annoying--for the kids and sometimes for me. I have to keep reminding myself and the other ducks that this is new for him and being able to do something by himself (turn lights on/off, shut the door of the van over and over and not let anyone else touch it) is a way to control an environment that is very out of control. We do ritual every day together and I need to keep doing it. He is able to communicate with me in such a limited way that I need to let him. This takes great patience from me as I'm sick of it. I have to keep remembering that we did the same thing with our littles--how many times did we say ball? For example, he knows all of our names but he likes to play a game where he calls me by the wrong name. We laugh and I call him by the wrong name. Not a big deal really and we are communicating and laughing and he gets the attention that he needs. We say the wrong name about five times and then I end the game. This gets hard when it happens every day and five or six times a day. Patience Shanda. Patience.
On the adoption side of things, he is bonding so well--and we are too. He doesn't like to hug others and will hug us. He doesn't even enjoy communicating with others and wants to be with his family. We give great thanks for this. It is helping us to grow and it enables me to leave the house with him. . .and to go camping for that matter.
Camping was great, although I struggled with others' perceptions that Michael is mentally challenged. He looks like it and he sounds like it with his limited English. I wanted to tell everyone that we met that he was just adopted and that he has Treacher Collins Syndrome and that he is really picking up English and figuring things out and. . . . Today at the park I was playing with Michael and a little boy came up and began to ask me about Michael's age. This boy was 5 and bigger than Michael and couldn't quite believe or get that my son was older. I talked to him for a bit about it. We are all going to have things that people assume about us based on our appearance. I get that. I just want the assumptions to be the best that they can be, and I realize that I often make assumptions as well and treat others accordingly. Though this can be hard for me to come to grips with, I love that God is teaching me over and over again and refining me into who He wants me to be.
We are getting rid of our "new to us" van and praying/searching/waiting to see what vehicle will be the right fit for our family. We can't tow anything now with our conversion van and that is something that we need to have, both for our family and to manage our rental property. I'm thankful that we didn't sell our mini van yet--another way of God's provision in our lives.
God is blessing through daily encouragement, through meals being delivered (I NEVER thought that I would really need some meals this late in the game, but boy was I wrong about that one! The folks in the office at church knew more than me and insisted on taking care of us through this week.), through all of my kids, and through my sweet Gary. Moments are very hard at times, but I pick myself up, say a prayer, and hope to do better moving forward.
We just returned from a week of camping. We didn't know if we'd be able to go until we met Michael and evaluated his adjustment. It went so well. Gary was able to take the week off and we spent time together as a family. Michael is growing in so many ways--every day is a new discovery for him and he celebrates learning very visibly. The friends who camped with us laughed and celebrated with us as we watched him learn new skills (pounding in a tent stake or riding a tricycle) and new words (marshmallow). It is really fun to experience the world through new eyes. Being with friends also encouraged us in so many ways. It is easy to get bogged down with daily life and events and I think we all left refreshed. (I wasn't so refreshed after doing lots of laundry.)
I love my Michael. He is a gem with a smile that takes over his whole face--I find myself smiling at him a lot because he is smiling at me. He squeals with delight at new things and it makes me laugh. He loves life and loves me. He is fun and has become very affectionate with all of us. I must say that God made a great choice when He picked him to be in our family--he is a Sprick and certainly one of the ducks.
Michael is a worker bee and wants to use all of his new skills all of the time. This can be fun or is can be annoying--for the kids and sometimes for me. I have to keep reminding myself and the other ducks that this is new for him and being able to do something by himself (turn lights on/off, shut the door of the van over and over and not let anyone else touch it) is a way to control an environment that is very out of control. We do ritual every day together and I need to keep doing it. He is able to communicate with me in such a limited way that I need to let him. This takes great patience from me as I'm sick of it. I have to keep remembering that we did the same thing with our littles--how many times did we say ball? For example, he knows all of our names but he likes to play a game where he calls me by the wrong name. We laugh and I call him by the wrong name. Not a big deal really and we are communicating and laughing and he gets the attention that he needs. We say the wrong name about five times and then I end the game. This gets hard when it happens every day and five or six times a day. Patience Shanda. Patience.
On the adoption side of things, he is bonding so well--and we are too. He doesn't like to hug others and will hug us. He doesn't even enjoy communicating with others and wants to be with his family. We give great thanks for this. It is helping us to grow and it enables me to leave the house with him. . .and to go camping for that matter.
Camping was great, although I struggled with others' perceptions that Michael is mentally challenged. He looks like it and he sounds like it with his limited English. I wanted to tell everyone that we met that he was just adopted and that he has Treacher Collins Syndrome and that he is really picking up English and figuring things out and. . . . Today at the park I was playing with Michael and a little boy came up and began to ask me about Michael's age. This boy was 5 and bigger than Michael and couldn't quite believe or get that my son was older. I talked to him for a bit about it. We are all going to have things that people assume about us based on our appearance. I get that. I just want the assumptions to be the best that they can be, and I realize that I often make assumptions as well and treat others accordingly. Though this can be hard for me to come to grips with, I love that God is teaching me over and over again and refining me into who He wants me to be.
We are getting rid of our "new to us" van and praying/searching/waiting to see what vehicle will be the right fit for our family. We can't tow anything now with our conversion van and that is something that we need to have, both for our family and to manage our rental property. I'm thankful that we didn't sell our mini van yet--another way of God's provision in our lives.
God is blessing through daily encouragement, through meals being delivered (I NEVER thought that I would really need some meals this late in the game, but boy was I wrong about that one! The folks in the office at church knew more than me and insisted on taking care of us through this week.), through all of my kids, and through my sweet Gary. Moments are very hard at times, but I pick myself up, say a prayer, and hope to do better moving forward.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)