Missing the mark

Ah friends. . . .

I'm still learning, still trying to get it right. I heard a sigh. Are you sighing with me? I can't seem to get beyond some of my struggles. Some things--I'm good at. I taught last night at VBS that God created us so very amazing and gave us all wonderful things that we enjoy and are good at. I interviewed kids with my magic wand (thanks Noel) and we celebrated swimming, singing, fishing, drawing, playing soccer, being nice to my little brother. . . and so much more. I shared that I enjoy cooking. I'm glad God created me that way. I did admit to the kids that I am not good at jumping. Kids love to jump. What happened to me? I think the teaching time went great.

Still--I also failed last night. I didn't communicate well. I didn't let the folks at church know what I needed for my teaching night. See, I changed the curriculum that was given to me. I was allowed to do so. . .yet I didn't tell them and they. . . I should say Kathy. . . worked so hard and spent time trying to get everything ready for me. I blew it. I didn't use one thing that she had put together. Not one. All that work, all that time, wasted.

I seem to do that often. I forget to send a card. I don't respond quickly enough. I forget birthdays entirely. . . don't get me started on anniversaries. I drop the ball again and again. Sometimes there are good reasons. . . that is really a bad reason.

Yes, I have four kids.
Yes, I am a busy mom.
Yes, I have four kids.

I'm not sure how to get better about this. I feel terrible, I beat myself up, I make apologies. I tell my kids when they apologize about something that they really aren't sorry unless they try to change. This girl needs to change. I need to be so sorry about this that I make some changes.