Dad update

Hi all

My blog is basically two things. Living my life with my kids. . . just trying to be the best daughter of the King that I can be, and giving updates about my dad. They are worlds apart in some ways, and intertwined in other ways. This isn't one of these what-did-that-wacky-Shanda-do-today kind of blog posts. If you were hoping for that, perhaps another day. :) I always have so much I could share.

Tuesday night it was my turn to go the the group meeting at O.A.R. Every time I go I am more impressed with this organization. If you need help at all, in any way, with any kind of addiction, I would highly recommend this place. If you need to donate some funds to a reputable organization, I'd pass this name along to you as well.

Tuesday night we did something a little different. Rather than talk, share and learn from each other, we watched a video. It was rather amazing. It examined whether addiction is a disease. It showed the process that the brain goes through when drugs are used. It was. . . wow. I learned a ton. I learned what has been happening in my dad's brain for years. I learned how amazing and complex the brain is. I took notes on two different donation envelopes. I learned about how very real cravings are. . . something that I have never experienced. Ask me for a great analogy sometime if you are interested. I learned that the "pleasure" line in our brains has been raised so high for dad that they only thing that can give him pleasure is drug use. Did you know there is a periodic table of intoxicants? I'm getting educated. I learned that recovery is possible, though very very very very difficult. Genes are a part of the picture and a great gift I can give to my children is to model recovery. I plan to do it. The whole night was so informative, discouraging, and hopeful. I'm still chewing on it.

Dad is sober. Dad is attending counseling. He is not manipulating the counselor. He is listening to my mom. Hopefully soon we'll be going as a family to counseling at O.A.R. (remember them?) and they'll help us begin the process of reconnecting as a family. This is hard work. My dad is working hard. My mom. . . bless her dear dear heart. . . is working very hard. Most of all, God is working wonderful things in our lives because of your prayers. Thank you. Please continue to pray as we learn, work, and heal together.

If you'd like to hear more or have personal questions for me, feel free to post a comment or e-mail me at sgsprick@yahoo.com

Bread

I've decided to make bread. I like it. My kids like to help. I like to make. . . ya know. . .rise it up, punch it down, put homemade jam on it kind of bread. This is not the kind I've decided to make.

I'm going to make breads with flavors. Pumpkin. Banana. Zucchini. Peach. Apple. I guess you could say I'm going to make fruit and veggie breads. And I'm going to give them away.

This year I'm going to try and makes bread rather consistently and then give it away. It will be my ministry for the year. I'm going to call it. . . wait for it. . . Bread Ministry. :) I'm not going to announce it per se (what does that even mean?), but if I blog about it, then it is public and I need to continue with it. . . even in April. I want to do better at giving to those who might need a little encouragement. Since I don't really have a lot of time to give, nor a ton of money. . . I'm going to give bread. It is one of the ways I'm going to let God use me this year. Plus, if I give it away, then I won't eat it. :)

Birthday Party

I just got back home after dropping Garrison off at his first birthday party for a classmate. I find myself with a strange mix of emtions. This is all new to me. For example, I was startled when another mom at school casually said, "See you on Saturday." Me thinking: What?!? What did I forget? I have no plans with you on Saturday. Crud. What did I forget to write down? I keep missing appointments, forgetting to pick up my T.R.I.P. . . I'm so glad I haven't forgotten a kid yet. . . I do respond with "Saturday?" "Yeah," she responds, "Aren't we supposed to stay for the party?"

I have no desire to stay for the party. No. Desire. This mom called and discovered that we weren't required to stay for the party. I'm thinking that if I was supposed to stay, the invitation would have been addressed to "Garrison and his mom who I'm sure wants to spend a Saturday afternoon with many five year old boys. Please bring a gift and some Tylenol." :)

This party is yet another lesson to my other children that things aren't fair. They will continue to learn this, but it is difficult none the less. "There is a Caden in my class, why can't I go to the party?" "Why does Garrison get to go? Will he still have to take a rest time?" "How come he gets a party and I don't?" (How do you even begin with that one--He is not getting a party, he was invited, you will get invited some other time, yes there are boys in your class too, no they will not be at the other party. . . .)Garrison had some fairness issues himself this morning when we went to Target to get the gift. He liked the gift. He wanted to play with the gift. He wanted to keep the gift. He wanted to invite Caden over to our house as long as Caden would come with the gift so that Garrison could play with it. Alas, twas not for him.

Let's talk about the gift. I was kinda excited to venture out for our first birthday present. I'll send Gary next time. It was hard! What do you get for a child you barely know? What does he have? Do his parents have objections to certain toys? How much do I spend? Ack! Twenty minutes of looking. . . I hope Caden enjoys his package of miniture sports balls. Garrison liked it.

I like it that Garrison has a chance to be in another home and practice his manners without us around. He needs opportunities to do this. He needs chances to grow up, to interact with adults that he has just seen once in awhile at school. It is good. I like it that he received an invitation. He carried it around for days and was VERY protective of it. Little kids need mail. It singles them out and makes them feel special. It is something just for them in a world where very little is just for them. Can you hear me yelling "Please share!"? I like it that this is not a playdate where other kids are excluded. Every boy in the class was invited (Bless Caden's mom!) and they were able to talk about it at school. I love it that this is not a playdate where I feel "guilted" into reciprocating. I don't have to invite anyone over after this party! Woo-Hoo! No weight on these shoulders, well, at least not about this issue.

I'm picking him up in a couple of hours. I'll be very excited to hear about everything that happened. I know that I'll get to see one of my most favorite smiles in the whole world. That is the best part of all.

Ted Williams

I have heard this name so many times in the past three days. Ted Williams. If you haven't heard, this man used to work in radio and then "fell on hard times" with alcohol and drug use. He was discovered again and is now fielding multiple offers of work worth lots and lots of money. He was even on the Today show. The past two mornings one of the local Christian radio shows has been talking a ton about this. . . call in today with your second chance stories. . . and there are all kinds of great stories from various listeners. We love second chances. We love rags to riches stories.

I have another question. Where is this man in his recovery? Is he clean? Is he living in sobriety? Will the addition of tens of thousands of dollars to his bank account lead to grateful living or to more drugs and alcohol? Lots of money can be a huge trigger for an addict.

I haven't heard any of these questions being asked. I haven't heard Kraft, The Cleveland Cavaliers, The NFL, or many of the other companies offer to pay for some time in recovery for him. The focus is on this amazing story, but not on the man himself it seems to me. Now, he could be clean. He could be a wonderful voice for addiction. . . the work and the struggle. . . and the ability to rise to the top! Amen and Amen! I pray that this is the case. It just seems to me that there really isn't any "caring" for Ted Williams.

Giggling

Rest time is around 1:30 at this house. Noel sleeps. Garrison and Simon rest. Penny--up in the air. Today, everyone went down. A half hour with just me. Ahhh.

I was peeling carrots for pea soup when I heard giggling. Sure enough, Noel and Penny were laughing at each other! I smiled and let it go for a bit. I loved hearing these sisters interacting with one another. It reminded me of the night we arrived home from China with Simon and he and Garrison went to bed together for the first time. Gary and I sat on the couch listening to the giggling. After about five minutes of listening to the girls I decided that I should put a stop to the noise. It was after all, time to rest. I did enjoy it though.

Giggling. A common language between two brothers, one of whom can't speak English. A common language between two sisters, one of whom is only seven months old. Sure they fight with each other. Sure they drive each other crazy at times. Isn't it cool though that one of the first means of communication is through laughter? Just think of what heaven will be like.

Goals and toys

Yup, I have goals. I usually have them. . . at anytime of the year. Lately, I've been slacking in the pick-it-up-after-you-play-with-it department. I generally have this problem, but I'm especially slacking with having my kids do it.

So this is what I did. Most of the toys went into the basement. If a toy is in the basement, you can play with it whenever and you can leave it wherever until it is time to pick up the basement. I also went into the basement and told my kids that I was going to fill up one big tub of toys that we were going to take away. They weren't excited, but we did it. A tub of toys is gone. Whew.

Then, there are the upstairs toys. These are the toys which are new. These are the toys where all the pieces are in tact. There are five different things I think. These are the things that have a specific place. If you play with it, then you have to put it away before you can go on to something else.

I'm hoping that I can keep five different toys together. Five different toys. Five. I gotta start small. :)

Post-Christmas

All the decorations came down this morning. I'm not so very sad about that, but I do pause when I take down some of my more "precious" items. I have a hard time taking down the nativity, especially the angel who is proclaiming the news. I bought a different angel than the one that was suggested. I like this one better because the angels arms are thrown high into the air and the head is looking heavenward. I do the same thing when I think about what God did for me. This year as we were taking out the nativity, the kids and I talked about each piece as they came out of the box. I cried when the angel came out and we talked about how excited the angels must have been, how fun it was to finally share the surprise that had been a long time in planning.

The other items that I have a hard time taking down are the Christmas cards. As they arrive, I tape them to my kitchen cupboards. I love seeing friends and family. I love remembering and praying for them. They light up my kitchen. These people light up my life. I will miss them.

We had a good Christmas. The Koeman family party was great! It is an all day affair that includes appetizers, playing outside, white elephant gifts, dinner, presents for the kids, slides, and tons of laughter! We celebrated Christmas with Gary's folks when we were there for Thanksgiving. Mom Petty (Gary's mom) sent a wonderful package filled with stocking stuffers for the kids and gift cards for all. Our own family Christmas was the most delightful yet. The kids remember more and more from previous years. The excitement level is high, mostly for me I think. :) Gary and I loved making Christmas for them. Dinner, gifts which included a treasure hunt for each one, driving around looking at the lights and counting nativities, singing Christmas carols, reading of His Story, stockings, and eating cupcakes after singing "Happy Birthday Jesus" on Christmas morning were some of the highlights. We capped things off with the Sternberg (my mom's side) party at our church. Along the way we hosted two cookie decorating parties at our house.

It was a great holiday season and I loved the joy, the busyness, as well as the slower pace of the past two weeks. Only two days until the kids go back to school. I have a few goals for the coming year. I'm still finalizing them. I'll let you know how that pans out.