Happy New Year!
Obviously I'm a bit behind in my sentiments and a bit behind in my blogging. I've been in hibernating mode this break--enjoying the warmth of my home, the energy of my kids, and sadly the variety of delicious foods. I've also been doing a lot of thinking, some real in depth concentration about who I am and where I am. It has been good, but it has put me in a bit of a funk.
We had a good break as a family. Gary had to work so very much, which we truly are thankful for. So many don't have jobs and all the extra overtime is very helpful. It was hard at though to spend so much of the holidays without him. We did very much enjoy this past week-end as he was not on call. We even made it out to the beach yesterday to enjoy the sight of the ice in the Holland channel. We did not enjoy the biting wind. :)
Today is back to school day although school is cancelled. (Penny just got up and asked to snuggle. Oh one of the many joys of being a mama.) Having school doesn't throw me as we'll just keep on doing. My kids could benefit from not being at home though--there has been some extra unnecessary fighting the past few days. When they return to school they'll all be in the same class, so they had better just love each other more! ;)
Our adoption journey is trudging along. We received the clearance we were praying for from Homeland security. Our next step is to get all of our documents sealed by the State. (Having all the paperwork notarized isn't enough. . . required but not enough.) We are missing one document, so we'll get that redone this week and hopefully get all the papers off to the Chinese consulate in Chicago. We hire a courier who walks them in for us. Then she'll send them back to us with the official stamps and then we can send it off to China. Whew! As our frustration with our social worker grew, we weren't surprised to learn that she is no longer with our adoption agency and we have been assigned a new case worker. Ah more bumps in the road.
We test drove two conversion vans over the break and looked at two others. We are praying about whether to purchase one of them or wait. We've been relatively healthy, Penny and I were in the newspaper pictured sledding together, the kids don't want to take down the Christmas stuff today, and when we move out of this house someday we will still find Legos tucked into places. It will make me smile then, although it doesn't always make me smile now. Life is good and I'm blessed.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Christmas
It was a strange Christmas for me. Typically we don't talk about that--we are all about celebrating the birth of the Savior and why should we even begin to seem "off" about the giving and receiving of gifts? "Be grateful" we tell ourselves and rightly so. We make comments about good food and eating too much. We take lots of pictures. We debate about when to take down the decorations. My kids are sitting at the table with Gary right now putting together Legos I received for Christmas. (Gary gave me a Lego set for Christmas--funny!) It should make my heart all so full and happy. It does.
But Christmas was strange.
First off, we missed a week of it. Vacationing the week after Thanksgiving threw me in regards to timing and decorations and Christmas cards, and just feeling it. Because my time was shorter than usual, I feel like I missed out on something. I didn't realize that this would happen. It isn't bad--it just felt weird to me. I felt like my preparations were rushed. . . like Christmas was sneaky. I wouldn't trade the vacation and the memories with Grandma Karen. . . I'm just stating the strangeness of it.
Second, we were missing someone. I don't know Michael. I don't know how he sounds or what he feels like when I hug him. I couldn't recognize his voice. Yet I missed him. Gary and I both shed tears as we gazed at the photo of our son and hung up his stocking. We bought him gifts and shipped them off with a prayer. When we were waiting for Simon, we didn't ever experience this. Over two Christmases we were waiting for a girl and would get assigned one when our number came up. God changed our hearts in June and we had Simon by November. So although we hung up a stocking for our Chinese child while we waited, we didn't have a face. Michael has a face, and we spent Christmas without him and he spent Christmas without us. It stinks.
Christmas morning I walked to the road to retrieve the newspaper. I stood for awhile and praised my Creator who sent His Son. It must have been so very hard. . . and I must be so very loved. I wouldn't give up any one of my sons for anyone, especially knowing I would be sending them to a place worse than where they were. Christ left heaven. Christ took on flesh and the limits of flesh. I'm feeling the ache of my missing son and it doesn't even begin to compare with my Father God. I stand in amazement.
I will always remember this strange Christmas. . .it helped me see a new aspect of the birth of Christ. For that I am thankful.
But Christmas was strange.
First off, we missed a week of it. Vacationing the week after Thanksgiving threw me in regards to timing and decorations and Christmas cards, and just feeling it. Because my time was shorter than usual, I feel like I missed out on something. I didn't realize that this would happen. It isn't bad--it just felt weird to me. I felt like my preparations were rushed. . . like Christmas was sneaky. I wouldn't trade the vacation and the memories with Grandma Karen. . . I'm just stating the strangeness of it.
Second, we were missing someone. I don't know Michael. I don't know how he sounds or what he feels like when I hug him. I couldn't recognize his voice. Yet I missed him. Gary and I both shed tears as we gazed at the photo of our son and hung up his stocking. We bought him gifts and shipped them off with a prayer. When we were waiting for Simon, we didn't ever experience this. Over two Christmases we were waiting for a girl and would get assigned one when our number came up. God changed our hearts in June and we had Simon by November. So although we hung up a stocking for our Chinese child while we waited, we didn't have a face. Michael has a face, and we spent Christmas without him and he spent Christmas without us. It stinks.
Christmas morning I walked to the road to retrieve the newspaper. I stood for awhile and praised my Creator who sent His Son. It must have been so very hard. . . and I must be so very loved. I wouldn't give up any one of my sons for anyone, especially knowing I would be sending them to a place worse than where they were. Christ left heaven. Christ took on flesh and the limits of flesh. I'm feeling the ache of my missing son and it doesn't even begin to compare with my Father God. I stand in amazement.
I will always remember this strange Christmas. . .it helped me see a new aspect of the birth of Christ. For that I am thankful.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Change of plans
Yesterday was "change of plans" day. It didn't begin that way, but then we just went with it. It was fun to see how the day just evolved. Snow day, lunch at a friends very spur of the moment, she kept my older ducks for the afternoon (nice!), and then supper out.
Two highlights from yesterday. First, we made doughnuts. I don't know how the tradition started, but when I was growing up we made doughnuts on the first snow day--the first school cancellation day--of the year. We'd all get floured up, mom would make the dough and dad would do the frying. We only made them once a year and it was awesome. Since I'm at home, I decided to continue this tradition with my kids. Yesterday's experience went so great! The kids were so helpful and they tasted wonderful. I use the same recipe that I did growing up and the doughnuts tasted like. . . memories. :)
Last night after dividing up duties (me and the older ducks to Meijer to brave the craziness and get a present for today--Gary and Penny off to donate a trunk load of stuff to Africa's Child) we met up at Russ' for supper. It is full of memories as well. We ran into five families from church (love it) and were enjoying our meal. While we were eating I noticed a group of men with santa hats on come in. It seemed like a larger group and I was a little nervous because they were probably going to wait for our table since we were sitting at the largest one in the place. I was wrong. After a few minutes they all began singing and walked into the dining area. We enjoyed "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and "Joy to the World". I loved it! They were great and the kids loved hearing them as well. We all clapped at the end of every song. Then they began to head our way. . . and the leader came over to Noel and asked if they could sing a song just for her. She smiled and nodded. They put a headband with antlers attached on her head and then sang. . . "You are my Sunshine".
You are my Sunshine.
It isn't a Christmas song, but it is Noel's song. See, Noel was named after one of my favorite people--a fabulous woman named Noel Furman. She was one of my campers at Camp Roger and has Down's Syndrome. She would come and sit on my bed, hold my hand, and sing "You are my Sunshine" to me. When my Noel was a baby, I would sing it to her and whisper to her about my other Noel.
So yesterday was great. Great. My plans flew out the window, but I had a great day with my kids. I enjoyed time with a wonderful friend. I accepted help. I didn't get my cleaning and other stuff done, but it's o.k. I was reminded of a wonderful friend and former camper. I feel like God was just giving me a pat on the back.
And those singers--I have no idea who they were. I asked when we paid and they didn't know. Thanks to those men. Thanks for sharing the message of Christ's birth, for venturing out on a Friday night to sing in a restaurant, and for celebrating my Noel. She was so proud.
Two highlights from yesterday. First, we made doughnuts. I don't know how the tradition started, but when I was growing up we made doughnuts on the first snow day--the first school cancellation day--of the year. We'd all get floured up, mom would make the dough and dad would do the frying. We only made them once a year and it was awesome. Since I'm at home, I decided to continue this tradition with my kids. Yesterday's experience went so great! The kids were so helpful and they tasted wonderful. I use the same recipe that I did growing up and the doughnuts tasted like. . . memories. :)
Last night after dividing up duties (me and the older ducks to Meijer to brave the craziness and get a present for today--Gary and Penny off to donate a trunk load of stuff to Africa's Child) we met up at Russ' for supper. It is full of memories as well. We ran into five families from church (love it) and were enjoying our meal. While we were eating I noticed a group of men with santa hats on come in. It seemed like a larger group and I was a little nervous because they were probably going to wait for our table since we were sitting at the largest one in the place. I was wrong. After a few minutes they all began singing and walked into the dining area. We enjoyed "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and "Joy to the World". I loved it! They were great and the kids loved hearing them as well. We all clapped at the end of every song. Then they began to head our way. . . and the leader came over to Noel and asked if they could sing a song just for her. She smiled and nodded. They put a headband with antlers attached on her head and then sang. . . "You are my Sunshine".
You are my Sunshine.
It isn't a Christmas song, but it is Noel's song. See, Noel was named after one of my favorite people--a fabulous woman named Noel Furman. She was one of my campers at Camp Roger and has Down's Syndrome. She would come and sit on my bed, hold my hand, and sing "You are my Sunshine" to me. When my Noel was a baby, I would sing it to her and whisper to her about my other Noel.
So yesterday was great. Great. My plans flew out the window, but I had a great day with my kids. I enjoyed time with a wonderful friend. I accepted help. I didn't get my cleaning and other stuff done, but it's o.k. I was reminded of a wonderful friend and former camper. I feel like God was just giving me a pat on the back.
And those singers--I have no idea who they were. I asked when we paid and they didn't know. Thanks to those men. Thanks for sharing the message of Christ's birth, for venturing out on a Friday night to sing in a restaurant, and for celebrating my Noel. She was so proud.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Treasures
It is the season for treasures. Our Lord came to the earth as a baby which is certainly our greatest treasure. There are treasures underneath our Christmas tree. I'm treasuring family during this time of year. There are treasures (Christmas cards) in our mailbox almost every day. I love it all.
HOWEVER, there is a treasure hunter in our family who has discovered a new place to find treasures. Before I share Garrison's newest discovery, let me share a cute story from Tuesday night. My parents came over to babysit for the night. They gave us a night away for dinner and shopping as part of their Christmas gift to us. It was wonderful. When we got home, they told us about their dinner conversation. They had asked the kids all kinds of questions about our Disney vacation. I wish I could have heard it all! Anyway, when asked about his favorite ride, Garrison responded with "It's a Small World". Mom was tickled as she loves this ride too. She asked him what he liked about it. . . the singing, the different countries. . . what? "Oh no Grammy, I liked all the coins in the water. I wish I could go back and just get all of those coins." Coins. My son spent more time looking in the water than at all the crazy singing dolls! I love him (as I shake my head with a huge smile on my face).
In the past week Garrison has come home with three different treasures he has found in the garbage at school. The garbage! He regularly checks our trash and recycling, but is now wiser to do it where mom can't catch him. He first came home with a foot long thermometer minus the glass bulb that actually measures the temperature. He loves it. It is big and yellow and "all you need to do it get a new middle part and we can find out the temperature." "Yes Garrison, it needs a part to work. THAT IS WHY IT WAS IN THE GARBAGE. Also, we could look right here where our thermometer is in our house." He grinned. Tuesday he came home and complained that his backpack was so heavy. Yup, sure was. It contained 4 catalogs for math curriculum. He has enjoyed reading them before bed. Yesterday, he arrived wearing reindeer antlers (you know those headband things). He loved them and was so proud that he had found them in the garbage. "Look mom, they were broken (one of the antlers had broken off) but I fixed them." He had--with staples and tape.
I did talk with him about food. You are not eating food out of the garbage right?!? "Mom, that's gross." Good. It is gross.
Maybe he will grow up as he hopes and be a dumpster diver. :)
HOWEVER, there is a treasure hunter in our family who has discovered a new place to find treasures. Before I share Garrison's newest discovery, let me share a cute story from Tuesday night. My parents came over to babysit for the night. They gave us a night away for dinner and shopping as part of their Christmas gift to us. It was wonderful. When we got home, they told us about their dinner conversation. They had asked the kids all kinds of questions about our Disney vacation. I wish I could have heard it all! Anyway, when asked about his favorite ride, Garrison responded with "It's a Small World". Mom was tickled as she loves this ride too. She asked him what he liked about it. . . the singing, the different countries. . . what? "Oh no Grammy, I liked all the coins in the water. I wish I could go back and just get all of those coins." Coins. My son spent more time looking in the water than at all the crazy singing dolls! I love him (as I shake my head with a huge smile on my face).
In the past week Garrison has come home with three different treasures he has found in the garbage at school. The garbage! He regularly checks our trash and recycling, but is now wiser to do it where mom can't catch him. He first came home with a foot long thermometer minus the glass bulb that actually measures the temperature. He loves it. It is big and yellow and "all you need to do it get a new middle part and we can find out the temperature." "Yes Garrison, it needs a part to work. THAT IS WHY IT WAS IN THE GARBAGE. Also, we could look right here where our thermometer is in our house." He grinned. Tuesday he came home and complained that his backpack was so heavy. Yup, sure was. It contained 4 catalogs for math curriculum. He has enjoyed reading them before bed. Yesterday, he arrived wearing reindeer antlers (you know those headband things). He loved them and was so proud that he had found them in the garbage. "Look mom, they were broken (one of the antlers had broken off) but I fixed them." He had--with staples and tape.
I did talk with him about food. You are not eating food out of the garbage right?!? "Mom, that's gross." Good. It is gross.
Maybe he will grow up as he hopes and be a dumpster diver. :)
Monday, December 16, 2013
Water pill please
When did I become that mom?
I love the water. When I was little I loved going to a pool or the beach. I was thrilled when we went out on Lake Michigan on the boat. I didn't want to lay on a towel, I wanted to be out in the water! Let's jump off the boat! Let's see how far we can dive down! When I began my career at Camp Roger, a friend gave me the nickname "Queen of the deep" because it was evident that I loved being in the water. I became a lifeguard. I was the waterfront director for a couple of summers.
I've noticed this past year that I'm not as enthusiastic about being in the water. I'll still go in with my kids, but not as much and not as often. When we had our vacation in Florida, we swan three times, but I only put my suit on once and managed to sit in the kiddie pool for a few minutes.
What has happened to me? Where has my love of all things water gone? Is this another by-product of turning 40? ACK! The inability to lose weight and now the loss of water entry loving!?! I wish there was a special pill I could take for both. Let me know if I'm off my rocker. . . then again. . . maybe not. :)
I love the water. When I was little I loved going to a pool or the beach. I was thrilled when we went out on Lake Michigan on the boat. I didn't want to lay on a towel, I wanted to be out in the water! Let's jump off the boat! Let's see how far we can dive down! When I began my career at Camp Roger, a friend gave me the nickname "Queen of the deep" because it was evident that I loved being in the water. I became a lifeguard. I was the waterfront director for a couple of summers.
I've noticed this past year that I'm not as enthusiastic about being in the water. I'll still go in with my kids, but not as much and not as often. When we had our vacation in Florida, we swan three times, but I only put my suit on once and managed to sit in the kiddie pool for a few minutes.
What has happened to me? Where has my love of all things water gone? Is this another by-product of turning 40? ACK! The inability to lose weight and now the loss of water entry loving!?! I wish there was a special pill I could take for both. Let me know if I'm off my rocker. . . then again. . . maybe not. :)
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Growing up
My kids are growing up.
1. They decorated the Christmas tree and did a pretty nice job! We finally got around to putting it up today. We cut it down before we left, but today was the day we got it up. They were thrilled to open up the ornaments and I loved hearing them exclaim about so many of them. I love that they have memories of certain ones. They loved putting their hands into the molds from when they were three. Plus, I wasn't super crazy mama about the ducks handling them. They are older. I only had to make a few comments about "bunching". (Some branches shouldn't hold four ornaments.)
2. Penny had a fever yesterday, but was herself for most of the day. Then tonight she was off again and her temp was rising. She wanted to snuggle (yes of course!) and after she refused to drink any juice, I told her she could go to bed. She went. Hmmmm Then after being tucked in, she cried and when I returned she asked for "the bowl". I gave her a bowl and asked if she was going to throw up. She didn't think so. 20 minutes later I went to check on her and she had indeed thrown up into the bowl! My little girl made it all into the bowl! Hallelujah!!!!
Yup, my kids are getting older. They can handle ornaments and throw up in a container all on their own. Woo-Hoo! I'm loving it.
1. They decorated the Christmas tree and did a pretty nice job! We finally got around to putting it up today. We cut it down before we left, but today was the day we got it up. They were thrilled to open up the ornaments and I loved hearing them exclaim about so many of them. I love that they have memories of certain ones. They loved putting their hands into the molds from when they were three. Plus, I wasn't super crazy mama about the ducks handling them. They are older. I only had to make a few comments about "bunching". (Some branches shouldn't hold four ornaments.)
2. Penny had a fever yesterday, but was herself for most of the day. Then tonight she was off again and her temp was rising. She wanted to snuggle (yes of course!) and after she refused to drink any juice, I told her she could go to bed. She went. Hmmmm Then after being tucked in, she cried and when I returned she asked for "the bowl". I gave her a bowl and asked if she was going to throw up. She didn't think so. 20 minutes later I went to check on her and she had indeed thrown up into the bowl! My little girl made it all into the bowl! Hallelujah!!!!
Yup, my kids are getting older. They can handle ornaments and throw up in a container all on their own. Woo-Hoo! I'm loving it.
Monday, December 9, 2013
And we're back!
We are home. We are tired. We are happy. We are blessed.
So we did the whole Disney thing. It was magical and wonderful and tiring and overwhelming and amazing.
Here is my top ten lists of our Disney Vacation.
10 things I loved about our Disney vacation. (So many, but here are some highlights!)
10. I didn't have to drive or park a car. Loved that we had busing everywhere we needed to go. Loved walking for several miles every day.
9. Being on the Disney meal plan meant that I didn't prepare any meals for a week (except for PB&J for a couple of breakfasts). We had to plan where to go, but it was refreshing to have a break. . . and eat some really delicious food.
8. A hotel room with two bathrooms.
7. Beautiful weather.
6. I really enjoyed many of the rides/shows/attractions through the eyes of my kids. My boys went to Jedi Training Camp. I think I was more excited than they were.
5. Setting up Fastpass online. In general, Disney is an amazing machine. They move people with efficiency. They get it and work to make the entire experience something you can't find anywhere else.
4. I intentionally spent individual time with each child every day. What a treat!
3. Watching Penny meet Cinderella. It was so touching to watch them together. I know someday her imagination will wane, but for now I'll celebrate her joy at the imaginary.
2. Spending awesome time with Mama Petty. The two of us even got a night out at Epcot with just the two of us. Love her!
1. Praising God for giving me the family that He did.
10 things I didn't love about our Disney vacation.
10. It's over. :)
9. Colds. A few of us got them--our own fault really. We went to bed too late.
8. Who scheduled a 6:35 a.m. flight home anyway? Getting up at 2:15 and then taking care of tired children after a long/great vacation. . . we survived, but it wasn't pretty at times.
7. Noise. Gary and I commented to each other every day about how loud it was. There was no way to escape the noise. . . except in our room.
6. Penny missed the 40 inch height requirement by 1 inch and Simon/Noel missed the 48 inch requirement by 1ish inches as well. So close!
5. SO. MANY. PEOPLE.
4. "Shanda. Just to let you know. I will be going to jail tonight if one more person knocks down one of our children."
3. Many of the attractions have "scary" elements that don't need to be there. As a mom with sensitive kids. . . this was hard to deal with at times.
2. Some poor timing for our meals: either too early or too late. One night was at 7:00 and our kids just couldn't handle it well.
1. Waiting in line for everything. I was so glad to get home and not wait in line for our car. :)
We are thankful for the opportunity to go and will treasure this vacation time. It isn't something that will happen often. Many thanks to Mama Petty for taking us and being such an important part of our lives. I'm praying for the ducks today as they go to school and deal with re-entry. :) Penny is sleeping early and I'm trying to finish putting the house back together. Hard to believe that just 3 days ago I was swimming outside in 86 degree weather.
So we did the whole Disney thing. It was magical and wonderful and tiring and overwhelming and amazing.
Here is my top ten lists of our Disney Vacation.
10 things I loved about our Disney vacation. (So many, but here are some highlights!)
10. I didn't have to drive or park a car. Loved that we had busing everywhere we needed to go. Loved walking for several miles every day.
9. Being on the Disney meal plan meant that I didn't prepare any meals for a week (except for PB&J for a couple of breakfasts). We had to plan where to go, but it was refreshing to have a break. . . and eat some really delicious food.
8. A hotel room with two bathrooms.
7. Beautiful weather.
6. I really enjoyed many of the rides/shows/attractions through the eyes of my kids. My boys went to Jedi Training Camp. I think I was more excited than they were.
5. Setting up Fastpass online. In general, Disney is an amazing machine. They move people with efficiency. They get it and work to make the entire experience something you can't find anywhere else.
4. I intentionally spent individual time with each child every day. What a treat!
3. Watching Penny meet Cinderella. It was so touching to watch them together. I know someday her imagination will wane, but for now I'll celebrate her joy at the imaginary.
2. Spending awesome time with Mama Petty. The two of us even got a night out at Epcot with just the two of us. Love her!
1. Praising God for giving me the family that He did.
10 things I didn't love about our Disney vacation.
10. It's over. :)
9. Colds. A few of us got them--our own fault really. We went to bed too late.
8. Who scheduled a 6:35 a.m. flight home anyway? Getting up at 2:15 and then taking care of tired children after a long/great vacation. . . we survived, but it wasn't pretty at times.
7. Noise. Gary and I commented to each other every day about how loud it was. There was no way to escape the noise. . . except in our room.
6. Penny missed the 40 inch height requirement by 1 inch and Simon/Noel missed the 48 inch requirement by 1ish inches as well. So close!
5. SO. MANY. PEOPLE.
4. "Shanda. Just to let you know. I will be going to jail tonight if one more person knocks down one of our children."
3. Many of the attractions have "scary" elements that don't need to be there. As a mom with sensitive kids. . . this was hard to deal with at times.
2. Some poor timing for our meals: either too early or too late. One night was at 7:00 and our kids just couldn't handle it well.
1. Waiting in line for everything. I was so glad to get home and not wait in line for our car. :)
We are thankful for the opportunity to go and will treasure this vacation time. It isn't something that will happen often. Many thanks to Mama Petty for taking us and being such an important part of our lives. I'm praying for the ducks today as they go to school and deal with re-entry. :) Penny is sleeping early and I'm trying to finish putting the house back together. Hard to believe that just 3 days ago I was swimming outside in 86 degree weather.
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