Dad (s)

Did you stop by today to check up on me? Thanks. shhhh Listen.

""CLAP CLAP"" ""CLAP CLAP"" ""CLAP CLAP"" ""CLAP CLAP"" ""CLAP CLAP""

It's clapping. I'm clapping because my very big and personal God is so very wonderful. He deserves all of my clapping. Why am I clapping? I'm clapping because of yesterday. Here is what happened.

1. My mom, sister Tricia, brother Kevin and his wife Gretchen, and Penny and I traveled to Petosky to see my dad. We had safe travels and wonderful conversation in the car. I bless God for my family.

2. This may seem small, but I had a great lunch. I don't get to go out for lunch very often and it was such a treat to eat a fantastic sandwich.

3. We had a wonderful session with dad's counselor. He had so much information to share with us regarding dad's treatment and recovery. . . .almost all of it good! Did you read that? Almost all of it good! Oh, things aren't perfect. Oh dad has just received his education. . . living is a very different thing. It'll take years of dad being sober before the effects from the medication may not be felt anymore. Did you read that? Years.

4. Four weeks ago dad came to the conclusion that what our family did was the best thing that could have happened to him. He is so thankful that we stood our ground and forced him to examine what was really important to him. He wants to be in relationship with his family and was hoping that we would open the door a crack for him to begin and try that. Not only did the counselor share that with us, but DAD TOLD US THAT TOO! Amen and Amen!

5. We are excited to open the door a crack for him! We all told him that we love him, we will open the door a crack for him, but we are doing so with great caution. We are guarded and we are fiercely guarding our children.

6. I heard my father laugh. . . really laugh for the first time in years. I heard him coming down the hall before I saw him and I got so excited and nervous. I could hear my dad. I could hear the real him. He was joking with his counselor. Can you imagine how nervous he was? We laughed together because my dad can be very funny. I remember my humorous dad, but I haven't had a conversation with him in years. It was wonderful.

7. Dad held Penny.

8. Dad had something new in his eyes: sparkle. Oh how I have missed that. It means there really is a person in there. There was a sense of clarity we haven't seen for so very long. Once again. . . lots of clapping for God!

9. A bed opened up in a transitional home for dad. . . two days ago! Once again, the hand of God! Dad realized that he needs so much more help. He would be so very lost if he were to re-enter the big wide world on Monday. Instead, he'll be in this house with sixteen other guys who are all working towards their recovery. He'll be there for six months to a year. Long time: yes. Necessary: yes.

10. We all know that he is just out of the starting blocks, that the race ahead is very long and very difficult. There will be days of great gains and perhaps others of losses. Dad is the one who is telling us this. Dad's job is to get well. It isn't to be concerned about his family. It isn't to get well for his family. It is to focus completely on him, so regain pathways in his brain, to figure out how to live as a recovering addict, not a junkie.

11. (You thought I'd stop with 10!) Dad looks completely different. I'm not sure about clapping for that one, but if I saw him in a restaurant or some such thing. . . I don't think I know it was my dad. He has very little hair on the top of his head, lots of hair on his face (I've never seen my dad with a beard) and lots of extra padding all over. According to dad, there is a great cook at Harbor Hall and all he does all day is attend meetings. Kevin suggested to dad that he spend less time at the pool table and more time walking around it. We all laughed heartily about that one.

12. Penny was a gem. I couldn't have asked for better behavior from my darling. I'm very thankful for this as the car ride was great and I didn't have to miss much of the counseling time and none of the meeting time with dad. Thank you Lord!

13. God has given us time. Time to learn. Time to heal. Time to work. The door is open a crack. It'll take a long time before (and if) the door can be open again. Thankfully, we have time. All is not lost. We all need help to get better.

14. I felt so great. . . because of your prayers. Over this journey so far, the comment "I'm praying for you." has lifted me (and my family) up. It has also be a huge part of dad's journey. The Holy Spirit has been working, whispering, comforting, convicting, and encouraging all of us. I'm so in love with my God. Thanks to those who have prayed.

15. After I was home and processing my day with Gary, we received a phone call from Jerry Sprick. Jerry is Gary's biological father. He lives in California and I've only met him once. Gary speaks to him occasionally and I send periodic letters with pictures of the kids. He asked if he could come and visit us in September. He has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. We hope and pray that he will see God in our family. From what we know, he is not a believer. We know God is already on it.

What a day. What wonderful friends. What an amazing God.