Saturday night Gary and I attended a baby shower for some friends. It was a great night with lots of noisy conversations. This group hasn't seen each other for a couple of months, so we really needed to catch up. We also really needed a babysitter and I had secured my mom several weeks ago. About two weeks ago Gary and I had a conversation about whether we could ask dad. We decided it was time and I called him up and asked if he could come and babysit with mom. He agreed. I was very proud to answer when asked "Who is watching your kids tonight?" with "my folks". They had a wonderful time with their Grammy and Gramps. Dad loves to tell stories and my kids love to hear stories. He also brought along an apple to share with them. It is another step along our journey. Dad left shortly after the kids were in bed. It was difficult for him to be in our house and see the cake on the counter knowing that our family would be together without him the next day. Yup, I know that it is hard dad. I know that it hurts. It will also be hard for me someday to invite him to a party as the hurt feelings regarding past birthdays still linger like the smell of bacon in my kitchen for days. We are getting there.
Sunday our pastor preached about forgiveness. It was really good. I have forgiven my dad and that means that I need to continue to give him opportunities to engage with our family. Forgiveness is GIVEN and he doesn't have to ask again. Pastor George also stressed that trust is earned, not given. Our trust in dad has been so battered and bruised. We are beginning. . . step by step to trust him again. He is learning. . . step by step to earn our trust again. Yup, there are set-backs at times, but we are slowly making our way toward a connection again.
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