The day has come

We are in Branson.  Normally, this is a great time for me.  I love being here.  This is a place that I had never visited until Gary's folks moved here.  My memories are completely wrapped around them.  THEY have a wonderful house.  THEY take us to see various shows.  THEY spoil our kids with shirts from Bass Pro Shop.  THEY take us to wonderful restaurants where I don't have to prepare or clean up a thing.  THEY play cards with us at night after the kids are in bed.  THEY take us for rides on table rock lake.  THEY bless us with their conversation, advice, and prayers.

THEY are not here anymore.  Riding into Branson on Friday night was completely different.  We ate with just our family at a McDonalds.  We used to go right to the house for big hugs or we'd meet at a restaurant and enjoy lively conversation and a welcome respite from traveling.  This time mom was wrapped up with my step-sisters (Larry's daughters) so we ate and went to our hotel.  Different.  We haven't been to the house yet.  I'm not even sure how I'll react.

We usually jump up and hit the road on the first day.  We would plan our week (shows, entertainment, restaurants etc.) on the first night.  Mom would begin calling for tickets and we'd look forward to our special events.  Yesterday was spent swimming, napping, and attending a lunch for all of the family who have come in for the funeral.  I had just a few moments with mom.  I did meet dad's brothers and a sister.  It was erie to sit at the table and see Uncle Dwayne at the end.  He looks so much like dad.  I found myself staring at him.  Dad's daughters too carry him.  Their eyes. . . it it like looking at him.

Today is funeral day.  Today I'll have to face it that he is gone.  Today is a new normal. . . yet it is still the same in many ways.  We had hotel waffles for breakfast.  We drove down the strip last night and bought shoes at the Croc outlet.  Our kids didn't sleep in.  Normal.

The pool opens at 9:00 and the kids are pushing to go.  I need to wrap this up.  It will be a hard/good/sad/challenging/difficult/celebrative/wonderful day.