I'm 40!

So it's been awhile since I've blogged.  I've been busy with stuff. . . you know. . . stuff.  Stuff like kids at home.  Stuff like being tired and taking a nap.  Stuff like camping in the rain and 40 degree nights.  Stuff like turning 40.  Stuff like your husband working 130 hours in two weeks.  Stuff like book club and Bible Study. Stuff.  Let me write about one piece of stuff.

Happy Birthday to me.

     I turned 40 yesterday.  Birthdays aren't a big deal for me unless they are big birthdays.  I can't tell you what I did for my 25th, 33rd, or 39th birthday.  I can tell you what I did for 16, 21, 30 and 40.  I've shared before about how I really enjoy celebrating the beginnings and ends of events/milestones.  I remember, pause, and reflect.  I've been doing that for the past couple of weeks.  I'm not sad about leaving my 30's, although I loved them.  My life changed so dramatically!  It was the year I turned 30 that I decided to change my life.  I did and met Gary, got married, moved, had four pregnancies, adopted one child, changed jobs, learned about addiction, found a new church home, lost a father-in-law as well as two grandpas and grandmas. . .lots of wonderful and contemplative things.  Lots.  My life is so different than it was 10 years ago.  My life was dramatically different between 20 and 30 as well.  I'm struggling a little because as I look at it, I don't see my life being so very different between 40 and 50.  I've discovered that I kind of like those big changes.  Sure I'll have some teens in my house which will be different than 7, 6, 5 and 2.  I will probably have a paying job.
     I don't see moving anywhere different.  I don't see changing churches.  I don't see adding four more children.  I have discovered a new passion for my Bible Study though.  I'm curious what God is going to do with that.  I've always been passionate about middle school and high school kids and now I find myself loving on the 70 women who meet on Tuesday mornings.  I'm still in love with Gary and find myself enjoying my children more and more.  I still have that pesky weight to lose and am discovering that it isn't coming off like it did 10 years ago when I lost 88 pounds.  I'd be really excited about 20.
I'm trying to be content with the season that I'm in.  Although I long for the day when Gary and I can go out for a night without getting a babysitter, I do sit back and celebrate that my kids still give me hugs and kisses.  They want to sit on my lap and are so cute.  I tuck them in every night and know exactly where they are all night long.  Perhaps that comes with maturity--I'd love to live in 20 year old Shanda's shoes and see if she really realized how fun and quick college would fly by.  Did she enjoy the moment or was she always looking ahead to the next thing?
     I feel like my face has aged a lot in the past few months.  Perhaps I've been looking for it?  Gary still thinks I'm beautiful.  I hope he always does.  I find myself asking friends in my age bracket (How did I end up with so many friends who are younger than me?  I have two close friends who just turned 30!) about creams that might help with some wrinkles and spots.  Spots!  I have spots on my face!!  What is up with that?
     What is up with that is that I'm 40 and I lived in Miami for 4 years and can't remember putting sunscreen on my face.  When I was a teen I would try to burn my face so that it would turn to tan.  Oh how I would love to talk with that young girl.  I do have some advice for her---one of which is put on a hat!  Of course if 16 year old Shanda would have put on a hat, then the sun could not have reached her hair which she had put lemon juice on in an effort to get blonder.
     Speaking of Miami (which is when I began to dye my hair blond for reals--no lemon juice involved!) I'm going there in two weeks.  About a year ago my best friend Karen and I began to dream together about a vacation with just the two of us.  She turns 40 next month and we threw out the possibility of traveling together back to Miami to celebrate our days of living and teaching there.  Little did I hope that we would actually do it.  Gary is super supportive and is taking vacation days to be a stay-at-home papa.  I'm excited to enjoy my friendship, celebrate where God has taken both Karen and I, and just relax at my former home.  I love walking down memory lane and I'm going to spend four days doing just that!
     As I approached my birthday Gary asked me the same question that I had asked him before his 40th.  Let's take a moment to remember that he is much older than me.  :)  "What do you want for your 40th?"  His answer: a super big sweet party.  He got it.  My answer?  "Miami with Karen, out for martini's with my sisters and mama, and one great night out with you."  I'm going to get all three.  The best part is that none of them have happened yet--oh there are three great things that are going to happen not that I'm 40.  I'm excited to see what else God is going to do in the next decade.  I'll let you know what I thought in 2022--when I turn 50.