Pushed and done

I joined the book club at our church.  I know--different for me.  I used to love reading books.  Every Sunday I'd grab a book and spend the rest of the day enthralled.  I'd often stay up very late just to finish.  I haven't read much since I became a mom.  There are many reasons for this, but the whole "finish it" thing is a huge part.  I know I'd be a bad mom and wife if I picked up a great book.  My friend Betsy though was interested, so I said "hey, I'll join you."

So on Wednesday nights I meet with a group from church.  We are reading Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.  Perhaps that means something to you: it didn't to me.  I don't know authors (Laura Ingalls and Janette Oake I know!) very well.  Our church is reaching out this fall to help the poor/oppressed/destitute/etc. through a campaign called Jubilee.  It is very exciting!  Ask me if you'd like to know more.  The church leadership encouraged the reading of this book.

So, I like the book.  I like it.  I'm thinking about it.  I like carving time out of my Wednesday afternoons to sit and read.  I like sitting in a group and talking about what we think.  It has been good for me.

This past week Shane challenged us to be a Christ follower. . . to see where there is a need. . .to go and see Christ living in someone else.  He wanted so much to see Christ in others that he traveled to Calcutta and worked with Mother Teresa.  He helped people to die and saw Christ in them.

I wanted to do that.  I don't want to help people die, but I felt convicted that I needed to do something.  DO SOMETHING SHANDA!  Do something.  So as I read chapter 3 and listened to the group, I began to think about nursing homes.  When I was little, I would go with my friend Kerri and we would sing at a nursing home by our house.  I have no idea why we did this: if our moms thought of it or if our church had volunteered time. . .I just know we'd practice in Kerri's basement and then we'd go and sing a couple of hymns.  I had gone before; I could go again.  I was going to do i,t and I wasn't going to let doubt or distractions stand in my way.

On the way home from school at noon I discussed the plan with Noel.  " Did you know that there are older people who live a home all together?  I think that some of them may be lonely.  Don't you think that we could do something for them?  Maybe you could draw some pictures for them.  Perhaps we could pick some of our flowers and bring them too.  We could show them the love of God."  She was excited.  Penny was excited--she usually is as long as she can pick out her shoes.  So while Penny napped, Noel drew her pictures.  I worked on supper and prayed.  I was nervous.  I wasn't sure where to go.  I decided to go to a place in Zeeland where I've never been: Providence.  That felt good to me--- perhaps God was giving me a little nudge.  Noel drew four pictures and picked five flowers.  Penny was awake and we were off.

As we walked in Noel's enthusiasm waned.  I think mine did too although I didn't let it show.  Where was I going to go?  How would I know which people to visit?  I probably spoke with a little too much excitement to cover up my nervousness.  I know I held back tears as I entered.

There was a large group listening to music and playing games (?) as we entered.  I didn't feel like that was the way.  We looked at the birds to calm our nerves a little bit.  I steered the girls toward a desk in hopes that I'd find some direction.  I did.  Her name was Dana.  (Thanks so much God!)  I explained why we were there and asked if there was anyone in particular that she thought might appreciate some flowers.  She led us to a hall and we entered into the first room.  Irene would love a visitor she announced and then told us to just continue on and visit anyone who was awake and in a chair.  I breathed a prayer of thanks for this piece of advice.  Irene loved the flower and even had an empty vase in her room.  Penny had given her the flower and Noel had offered her picture.  We stayed maybe three minutes and then moved on.  Whew!  That felt good.  With one under our belt our confidence grew.  Noel and I had a little processing session in the hallway.  Then. . . oh then we met Alina (?).

She was a few doors down from Irene.  Penny saw her and ran into her room and straight into her arms for a huge hug.  Alina was surprised.  I was too.  The smile I saw on both of their faces was straight from our Father.  It was the only time Penny did it on our visit.  I decided that there must be something special about Alina.  I really believe that kids can often sense things that we adults can't.  Alina was so wonderful and kind.  She loved her flower (Penny tried to give them all to her).  It was hard to understand her because most of her teeth were gone, but we didn't need to chat much.  Smiles communicate tons and tons!

We were on a roll now.  We visited very quickly with three other women, one of whom had just gotten out of therapy and was very proud of how she had done.  I fell in love with her and promisedmyself that I'd be back to visit with her.  Penny tried to take Gladys' banana.  Gladys was not going to give it up.  In the end the girls were leading the way and Noel was looking into the rooms for folks who were awake and sitting up.  We said good-bye to the birds and left.

Then I cried.  I cried and cried.  I cried in gladness to God for blessing me in this way.  I cried because I felt I had done something with my girls that had Kingdom work written all over it.  I cried because I realized how nervous I had been and now it was over.  I cried with joy.  We clapped for God when we were in the van and about to leave.

I wish I could have sat with some of these women and listened to them.  It just isn't possible when there is a Penny in the room.  :)  BUT for now, we will try and listen to the nudge of the Holy Spirit again.  I plan to go back.  I also know that God may ask me to do something else that might make me nervous.  I hope I'm quick to listen.  I saw Christ today.