Forgiveness

I cradled my son in my arms and we cried together while I asked him for forgiveness.  He gave it.  He also apologized to me.

There is such beauty in forgiveness.  There is vulnerability.  There is such peace.  There is no "lording it over" on behalf of the forgiver.  God knew what He was doing when He created it and then told us to do it.  Christ emphasized it so much that we are to forgive seventy times seven.

After my anger meltdown with my kids, I put myself in time out and called Gary.  I knew I needed to calm down and I needed to do some changing.  I needed Gary to just listen and pray for me.  I needed to let the Holy Spirit wash over me.

Are you ever in that place?  Do your emotions get the best of you?  Do you know you need to let God take away your anger or bitterness or resentment or entitlement or jealousy or delight in gossip or. . . or. . . or?

Even though he was wrong.  Even though the toilet wasn't flushed.  Even though she cut the zip line.  Even though the duck duties weren't done.  Even though he walked away when I was talking with him.  Even though she hid instead of finished the job.  Even though he punched her.  Even though he called him an idiot.  Even though she kept wanting to do it herself.  Even though the shoes were still where they were last night.  Even though. . . .

I am allowed to be angry.  I need to chose how I handle it.  That goes for anything that comes my way.  God is continually teaching me and I'm thankful for it.  I pray for eyes to see that which needs to be changed and the courage to admit it and do something about it.


P.S. I changed and we had a fabulous afternoon.  Gary said I was a great mom, not because of my behavior or lack thereof, but rather because I'm working to do better when I'm not who I want to be.  I won't always be wonderful.  That is o.k.  I'll take it.