Have you ever had it where something happens or you have a conversation that sits on your mind all day? Sometimes it is good, sometimes. . . ack!
I had four things/comments/situations that happened to me this morning. Nothing serious. Nothing huge. Nothing crazy bad. Just conversations/events that sent my mind swirling. . . one of them was another school mama looking at me when I was snapping at my kids for walking in front of traffic. I spent so much time thinking on that one. . . should I have snapped? Traffic is a big deal! Could I have behaved differently? Ugh. Was it fear or frustration that caused me to get upset? Fear of having my kids getting hit by a car. . . frustration at the lack of parking at school and crossing the street and two busy entrances with four kids. . . .probably a combo. I can't take it back though. I can't explain it all to this mom. . . a mom in Garrison's class. What does she think of me now? Is it important? I'm contemplating arriving at school 10 minutes late every day just so that I can park in the parking lot. . . what message does that send to my kids though? That doesn't seem to be a good use of our money. In one of my less sane moments, I even thought about pulling my kids out of school. I know I know. . . irrational. Do any of you have these moments?
Do you see where I am? Follow that up with three casual conversations with other school moms regarding my boys that have my head running in circles.
I just want to be the best mom that I can. I want to have kids that love God, respect others, share stuff, lift up the broken, enjoy school, be good friends, make good friends, go to bed on time, have good hygiene, smile often, listen lots, do what they are told, and cure cancer. I want to make decisions that don't hurt them in the long run. I don't want them to remember that I put my hand in their face when they kept bringing up the same issue over and over again (yup. . . I did that today!). I want them to remember that we walked down the road in the rain and rode the scooter through the big puddle (again today). I want them to remember that I read books to them every night and they took turns sitting on my lap. I want them to remember that every day I pulled them to me for a hug and a kiss. I love them so very much and don't want to "do it wrong".
Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I'll wake up and pledge patience again. Tomorrow I'll give extra hugs and kisses to everyone. Tomorrow will be today and Simon will be confused again because he never seems to reach tomorrow. :)
2 comments:
you just continue to be a terrific mom to your kids, FOR your kids. i wish i would have learned earlier that i'm not parenting for other parents' approval...i'm parenting for God's approval! my parenting mantra is 'pick your issues'...and i definitely would pick traffic as an issue!!!!! you were absolutely right to make your kids aware that cars can be dangerous (might as well teach them now, rather than when they get behind the wheel of their new car ;)
so you have a great day...keep loving those adorables with all your heart!
i totally agree with lori.
i used to be 'one of those' people that would give 'that' look to mom's....while thinking 'how can you yell at them like that? why do you have to grab their arms? why do you snap?'
THEN I HAD CHILDREN. i will never again judge another mother. who knows what her morning was like? i don't know what support she has? does she even have any 'back-up? is she depressed? did she just have a fight with her own mother? is she just feeling incredibly overwhelmed? etc..etc....you know what i'm saying. 99% of the time, these mothers have a really good reason for doing what their doing. keeping your children safe is number one for MOST mothers. kuddos to you for letting your little ones know that you want them safe. you did the RIGHT thing! shame on that mother for making you think otherwise. if your children are like mine, they tend to hear me better if i talk a LITTLE louder. :) i admire you so much for your honesty in your blog. thank you for reminding me to be considerate of other mothers today. you're a SUPER mom. don't ever forget that.
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