A new journey

A new journey has begun for us Koemans. Dad is back in Holland. He is attending AA meetings, he is going to church with my mom, he is attending counseling both with my mom and by himself. It is good. It is also a little scary. This is uncharted waters.

I went to an O.A.R. meeting last night with my mom. I continue to be blessed by the people and the therapists there as I learn about addiction. Last night was on trigger and relapse. I find myself being convicted in my own life about such issues. I am working again at getting my weight off from this pregnancy. (You know. . . the one from seven months ago!) The past two weeks have been terrible! I had minor surgery on my toes that left me unable to walk for a few days and then one section became infected. . . I haven't been doing much activity lately. I've also used that and the holidays as a license to eat. Triggers and relapse. Certain songs, smells, people, locations. . . all triggers for us. We can't escape triggers, but we can stay away from relapse.

I'm committed to standing by my dad and helping him with his recovery. He'll have triggers too I'm thinking. He needs to know that I'll be there. When the urge hits, there are people that can help him so that he doesn't crash and burn. Up until last night, I found myself keeping my eyes and ears open to his possible failure. I discovered that I'm planning on him failing. Honestly, I thought that last nights meeting was going to be about how to recognize relapse. I'm on guard, and I think that is normal. I need to do a little tweaking though. Instead of looking for the failure, I was challenged to ask dad this question instead. "How are you actively managing your recovery?" I like that so much better. It allows me the opportunity to celebrate with him. It makes me less of a guardian. It might encourage him to join a group at Evergreen Commons or some other thing. It certainly will allow him to be less defensive. I think I should ask myself the same question about any issue in my life that I'm trying to change. Living a healthier life. Spending more time in the word. Getting more on top of cleaning in my house.

"Shanda, what are you actively doing to manage your recovery?"